The Tail of God

There are those who believe that God created Mans in his own image, and there are are those who believe that Man created God in his own image. God concerns herself with neither of those groups of people, in fact she tends not to concern herself with people at all.

God is an omnipotent and omniscient single-celled organism and has been swimming around the universe forever. For as long as there has been life on Earth she has been spending her time in what we call the Pacific ocean. God can dematerialize and reappear instantly - anywhere, at any time and in any form - but instead has remained voluntarily bound to this planet as an amoeba for nearly four billion years (with a few brief exceptions) and chooses move around slowly by the wiggling of her tiny tail.

God knows that she is omnipotent and omniscient, but she doesn't really care. Power and knowledge are the concerns of primitive beings like the human beings that rape the world above. God cares that she is all-loving, God cares that she is the direct mother of all life on this planet and on many others (but not all - in fact, life itself was an accidental invention of nature and chance, one that God merely decided to reproduce elsewhere) and that she has an incredible imagination and an even greater sense of humour.

God is not compassionate, per se, as she accepts the suffering of all beings as an expression of their free will. God is not merciful, per se, as she would rather observe the world passively without trying to alleviate anyone's troubles or delusions. God did not abandon humanity because she never paid it any specific attention in the first place; the universe is filled with 'greater' and 'lesser' beings (by human standards) most of which God finds to be much more interesting. God may be great, but if she was told so she would only giggle innocently.

God's primary characteristic is curiousity. God started the big bang - the 'first' one (if we must conceive of time in linear terms) - and sat back, figuratively speaking, just to watch. She was always entertained but when, in a pool of muck on some obscure rock in some obscure corner of a rather strange universe, life arose she became fascinated. Ever since she has been endlessly indulging her playfulness, interacting with the funny creatures that emerge from the complex vibrations she spawned.

God has been on Earth for quite some time. She was the very first organism here, and she divided and divided and divided for as long as it was necessary to do so - but she kept her consciousness confined to one particular single-celled organism so that she could observe her experiment without controlling it.

God has been having a good time so far.

You are God. What would you like to do today?

 

The End

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