Some say life is simple as a child,peering out into the world with only the innocent of intentions.When to think the most trouble you could possibly get into is sneaking that one more cookie before dinner that you had already been forbidden to eat.
I don't really seem to remember alot of my early childhood.Only the rare occasions that were plagued with hurt and darkness.Darkness seems to be the time line that my memories are solely based on.The passing of my older brother being the first trama related memory that comes to mind.I was only three years old when he was suddenly taken from me by a rare disease that doctors not yet understood.It strikes me as funny how I can still remember his scent to this day, but not remember at what age I had learned to ride a bike.
My mother was fourty -one years of age when she by mistake gave birth to me.What she seen as a horrible way to deal with her mid life crisis,my father on the other hand could not be more pleased with the bundle of joy she had mistakinly delivered for him to call his own.
I was not my mothers only child,for she had already raised,buried and shipped off four before me.You would think that child reering would have gotten easier with the much experiance she had aquired over the years.That love would come easy with her much practice on the children and husbands that had come before me.I learned to quick that the easy come easy go men in her life were far more easy to not resent for they could be shipped off and replaced when she grew tired of them.I on the other hand was a responsibility that she had to face every day of her life.
My father was a hard working man with nothing but the greatest of intentions for his new family.He worked extra hours and always provided for his family.He spent what little energy he had left after labouring all week with his family,laying down roots that he had hoped would dwell into a lasting foundation for the future.My father was a few years younger than my mother and a very handsome man.He had thick brown hair that he took very much pride in grooming on a regular basis throught the day with the comb he always carried in his back pants pocket.He had warm brown eyes,and a smile that would make any dentist proud.He wore his heart on his sleeve,and the many friends he made over the years would tell you that you really couldnt ask for a better man.
One night only after eleven short months of marriage,his foundation came crashing down onto him.I was only four months old when my mother decided that it would be best if she skipped town and not return for me until weeks later.Weeks is a long time when your only a four month old child I can imagine.Almost still just fresh out of the womb.This was to be just the beggining of the many vanishing acts she would be a part of in my life.A modern day houdini when it came to escaping the chains of reality and responsibility.
Simple was never to be in my future as an innocent child,for I was not only forbidden that one more cookie before dinner, but denied as well the love and acceptance of the woman who had brought me into the world.