The truth is, I do not actually know the reason why I am still breathing in this world.
When you see adults having a conversation with a child, they would ask "What do you want to be when you grow up?". Their usual answers will be to be a pilot, actor, singer, nurse or a doctor. But what their dream is isn't the point, it's the fact that they have dreams for themselves, at such age.
I remember when they would ask me the same question, I was speechless. Then they would tell each other (for they were successful people), "This kid should be a lawyer like me!" or "No, this should be like his father, a cardiologist!". They and I myself, never gave me the opportunity to actually decide how the world could benefit and make use of me.
Never did I dream for myself and my future, I was a happy-go-lucky child, a bad student, an unmotivated person. "I'll die anyways." was one of my quotes. How do I use it? I'll give you an example (actual) conversation with one of my old friends in high school, James.
"Wow man, you're grades are very low. How the heck could you graduate?"
"I don't really care about me graduating. It's a pain in the ass. Plus, I'll die anyways."
But if you're going to look at it, I'm also correct. Why bother gaining something when you are also sure to lose it right?
This is my story, a wasted youth with an uncertain future.