For years, the closest thing I had to a best friend was my sister. I never fully appreciated this fact until recently. My sister, Suzie, is three years older than me, and she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend, Michael, or Mikey as most call him, is 19. I never really hated the guy, I just didn’t always feel like he cared about me. He also got physical if I started messing around with Suzie, as if he were trying to come between the bond we shared. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s a good guy, it’s just that he didn’t seem to care about the rest of my family. All he cared about was Suzie.
I guess I should probably introduce myself. I’m Jordan. I’m 14 and a half, I’m in 9th grade, and I’m kind of an outcast. I have friends at my school and everything, it’s just that I don’t really fit in anywhere except with my family. I just recently moved to a new school, and it’s a pretty close-knit place. The whole of the 9th grade is twenty people. Twenty-one since I moved in. As I was saying though, everyone at this school was buddy-buddy with everyone. I just kinda showed up. Like I said before, i have friends at this school, it's just that they aren't my best friends. They just kinda give me a reason not to break down and switch to homeschooling like my sister did.
Dangit. Don't do that to yourself man. I thought to myself. Don't think about what might happen later. Well, there was another reason I didn't break down. There's this girl. Her name is Rachel. She's such a nice, caring person. I'm pretty sure she knows I like her. Hell, I've been giving off the signals for two and a half months now. It's just that, she's so hard to read sometimes. That wavy, chocolate brown and those blue eyes. Man, those eyes were killer. I swear, they could see straight through you sometimes. It's just that, I can't tell if she likes me back. I keep freaking myself out around her. I wake up every morning and tell myself, Today is the day. I'm going to tell her. Then I walk up to her, and I shut down. I tell myself, There's no way she likes you. She's waaaay out of your league. And then I just walk away and silently punish myself for being such an idiot.
I go home after school and look in the mirror. I can see why she doesn't like me. I tell myself. I mean, who would like a short, scrawny, brown haired nerd. My eyes are the only thing I find interesting about myself. Blue with flecks of green and an amber ring around the pupil. They were the only good-looking thing on my body. I look at my eyes and it just reminds me about how imperfect I am. My sister, on the other hand, is downright pretty. That curly blonde hair, and those nice sea-green eyes. I can see why her boyfriend is so in love with her. If she wasn't my sister, I'd probably have a crush on her. I mean, who wouldn't? She's a great singer, she's clever, and nice, and... well, I kinda have this secret fear about her leaving the house when she turns eighteen. She's interesting to talk to, you know? When she leaves, I don't know what I'll do. She'll get married and be all happy, and I'll just sit in my room and read. Typical me, just sit in my room and do absolutely nothing all day. But, I guess I'm selling myself a little bit short. I am pretty smart after all. I have straight A's and a nice, steady flow of good grades coming in.
But, it's almost 10 o'clock and I have school in the morning. I guess I should get some sleep. Night.