Following Camilla into the library, we walk up to the front desk to check in.
"Do you need something in particular?" I ask her, hoping that she'll have something to do so I can look up the Schizophrenia thing. She shakes her head no, and frustration rises up in me. However, I shrug it off. "Alright. I need to do a few things on the computer, so you can look around or something while you're waiting."
"Okay," she says quietly, wandering aimlessly away from me. She stops a few feet ahead, looks at the signs, and mutters something to herself. Then she disappears around the corner, to the "educational nonfiction" section.
I turn back around to look at librarian, a man in his 60's. "Could I use one of the computers?" I ask him, hope glinting in my brown eyes.
"What to you need it for?" He asks, not looking up from his own screen. He's typing furiously away and he doesn't really seem to be caring all that much about me right now.
"Research, sir," I mumble, hoping he'll think I'm doing homework or something.
"Go on, then," he says, glancing up at me and then immediately resuming his quick typing.
"Thank you, sir," I say gratefully. He nods distractedly and I walk away, heading in direction of the computer section.
As I pass by the "educational nonfiction" section, I hear Camilla talking to someone. However, listening on more of her conversations is not my goal at the moment, so I keep walking to the computer section.
Sitting down in the chair in front of the closest computer monitor, I pull up Google search.
"How the hell do you even spell this damn word?" I mutter under my breath. After five tries, I finally get it right. I click on the first result, a wikipedia article, and begin reading.
As I finish reading the article, I sit back, utterly shocked.
"I didn't even---" I get cut off from my muttering by my tutor, Amelia. Or as she prefers; Amy. Quickly closing out the article, I look up at her and force myself to smile.
"Hi Ryder!" She says cheerily, seating herself in a chair next to my own. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, I guess," I mumble, my mind still on Camilla and Schizophrenia. She doesn't really seem to notice that I'm distracted, though, because she just keeps talking.
"I was wondering if, maybe..." She trails off for a moment, looking nervous, and then continues. "If maybe we could go out together, sometime."
This snaps my attention back to her. Heat rises in my cheeks, causing them to turn a deep shade of red, and I panic slightly. No girl has ever actually bothered asking me out, so I've never thought about what I'd say to the person if they did. 'What am I gonna say to her? I can't tell her I'm gay... She'll tell everyone,' I think to myself.
"I um... I..." I try to find the correct way to deny her. "I'd rather not, Amy. Sorry."
"Oh... alright," she mumbles, her usual cheery look disappearing. "See you around, I guess."
"Yeah," I say, watching her as she gets up and leaves.
'Why must I have to do these sorts of things?' I ask myself as I get up to find Camilla.