What a chump.

"You're almost human." I laughed.

Thing's lips quirked into a lopsided smile.


"Believe me, it's not a compliment." I yawned, trying pointlessly to straighten out my clothes.

Thing looked at me pensively, pulling on his shirt while managing not to break eye contact somehow.

"You've changed."

I raised an eyebrow sarcastically.

"You've known me for a total of three hours Thing. I wouldn't say you would know too much about me to begin with."

He looked flustered.

"I, uh, meant that you're...much friendlier after sleeping."

"Actually, I've been told the opposite before..." I mused, reminiscing.


"Er, never mind. You were talking about a base of operations?"

Thing picked up the subject quickly.

"It's only a few miles from here."


"Then why did you get me to start a fire, and why aren't we walking there now?"

"This neck of the woods is full of scouts who would engage us without hesitation. The fire is for a smoke signal to keep them from hacking you to bits, essentially."

"I can handle being hacked to bits, you know. Or did you forget about my impressive regenerative powers?"

I was fully prepared to give a demo when Thing interrupted me.

"EMF detectors, remember? You have to use as little of your 'powers' as you can."

What a spoilsport. I'd met snails who were more fun.

"So how long are we going to sit here, waiting for your little gang to see the smoke?"

The sound of a shrieking eagle reached my ears and Thing stood up.

"That's our cue. Let's get walking."

I stood up too and started following. 

"Which way is it?"

"36 degrees north by northwest. Exactly 3.6789 miles-"

I couldn't help but laugh as I started running.

"Race you there!"

Time to see if he was really anything like a snail.


I could smell the smoke of multiple fires and hear the general noise of people.

A little bit of slowing down couldn't hurt. I had a generous lead, anyways.

Or at least I thought I did, until I emerged into a clearing and was tackled from behind. 

"You're cheating!" I accused, trying to squirm from Thing's grasp. "That counts as forfeiting, you know!"

"I don't remember hearing that rule, Bridget." 

And then I saw him jump up nimbly and start running again, and I scoffed.

I hopped to my feet and followed, catching up and kicking at his feet to trip him. 

Thing fell but managed to get hold of my ankle and I ended up falling face-first into the dirt again.

Before I could offer some retort the bush in front of us rustled and I looked up to see a sword held to my nose.


The End

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