What a chump.
"You're almost human." I laughed.
Thing's lips quirked into a lopsided smile.
"Believe me, it's not a compliment." I yawned, trying pointlessly to straighten out my clothes.
Thing looked at me pensively, pulling on his shirt while managing not to break eye contact somehow.
I raised an eyebrow sarcastically.
"You've known me for a total of three hours Thing. I wouldn't say you would know too much about me to begin with."
He looked flustered.
"I, uh, meant that you're...much friendlier after sleeping."
"Actually, I've been told the opposite before..." I mused, reminiscing.
"Er, never mind. You were talking about a base of operations?"
Thing picked up the subject quickly.
"It's only a few miles from here."
"Then why did you get me to start a fire, and why aren't we walking there now?"
"This neck of the woods is full of scouts who would engage us without hesitation. The fire is for a smoke signal to keep them from hacking you to bits, essentially."
"I can handle being hacked to bits, you know. Or did you forget about my impressive regenerative powers?"
I was fully prepared to give a demo when Thing interrupted me.
"EMF detectors, remember? You have to use as little of your 'powers' as you can."
What a spoilsport. I'd met snails who were more fun.
"So how long are we going to sit here, waiting for your little gang to see the smoke?"
The sound of a shrieking eagle reached my ears and Thing stood up.
"That's our cue. Let's get walking."
I stood up too and started following.
"Which way is it?"
"36 degrees north by northwest. Exactly 3.6789 miles-"
I couldn't help but laugh as I started running.
"Race you there!"
Time to see if he was really anything like a snail.
I could smell the smoke of multiple fires and hear the general noise of people.
A little bit of slowing down couldn't hurt. I had a generous lead, anyways.
Or at least I thought I did, until I emerged into a clearing and was tackled from behind.
"You're cheating!" I accused, trying to squirm from Thing's grasp. "That counts as forfeiting, you know!"
"I don't remember hearing that rule, Bridget."
And then I saw him jump up nimbly and start running again, and I scoffed.
I hopped to my feet and followed, catching up and kicking at his feet to trip him.
Thing fell but managed to get hold of my ankle and I ended up falling face-first into the dirt again.
Before I could offer some retort the bush in front of us rustled and I looked up to see a sword held to my nose.