A few minutes later the both of us were sitting in my (now-intact) car heading down the highway with no particular destination in mind.
I was driving, of course, seeing as how I was very much the more human of the odd company.
It was almost like I was in some bad teen novel, a human spending time with some paranormal entity that they would eventually become best buds with or get married or something dumb like that.
Except that I wasn't really human, and Thing (as attractive as his host was) was just some creepy deranged spirit that would have eaten my soul if I hadn't agreed to whatever it was that he had 'offered' me.
A part of me could already tell that I would start hating his guts even more with time.
K'andor's followers, my foot. K'andor was only a medium to large-ish being in power There, and, welll...I'd kind of zapped it dead with my parasitic feeding.
But that was besides the point; Thing was clearly lying to my face, but I was smart enough not to buy it or outright refuse it.
We've all watched those movies where some valiant hero-type is offered a chance to work with the villain and turns them down, but that was not my type.
Even though I was hundreds of years old, sometimes a bit too immature for my age, I knew the difference between life and death.
Values were no friend to me-there was no need to pledge my loyalty to them and kill myself in the process.
And besides, this was the best way to pick up intel on the so-called 'war' that was threatening to start. Maybe even make a few friends in high places as I did.
"Bridget? May I ask something?"
Wow. Someone was being awfully polite.
"What?" I shot back, voice acid.
"Do you remember how you first started to traverse the two realms of our world?"
I stared at the road, thinking. How had I become a skin splitter?
My brain searched itself in vain. Nothing, nada, zip.
"No. I...don't remember a thing."
Only because it was so long ago, I convinced myself, not like I've got Alzheimer's or anything...I hope.
"Oh. How curious." Thing said flatly, sounding almost disappointed.
We were quiet for minutes or maybe hours before I resumed the conversation.
"Do you know how you became what you are now, Thing?"
Whoops. Hadn't meant to call him Thing out loud. That was rude. Wait, since when did I care about if I was rude or not? Thing was good. I'd stick to that.
"I...I made a sacrifice, and the price was that of my mortality. It was well worth it, though."
Sacrifice? Probably sold his soul to the devil as a child in return for some instruments of torture. No wonder he felt so invested to it, looking forlorn like that.
What a softie.
"...Thing? Are you...crying?!"
Thing sniffed and wiped at his face with a sleeve quickly.
"Huh? No. Just allergies."
Getting emotional, eh? Likely a trap to make me see some humanity in him and start to trust only to be sliced open with his maniacal laughter ringing in my ears. What kind of undead demon creature had allergies anyways?
I was NOT falling for that thing. The trap, I mean. Not Thing himself, ugh.
Okay, so maybe I had watched a few horror movies in my spare time, just to see what they were like...or three or four...or maybe five, six, seven thousand....pshhhaww. Not like it made me an overthinking, paranoid weirdo or anything. Heh.
"Eyes on the road!"
I snapped back to attention and swerved to avoid a tree that had somehow gotten in the way, shaking my head a bit. Driving tips from a bloodthirsty beast. Great.
How far the great have fallen.
Thing cleared his throat awkwardly as I fought to keep my eyes open, finding my head just a bit too heavy for comfort.
"Uh...Bridget, I think it would be a good idea for you to get some sleep."
"Yeah, it would. How about I nap a little, just yell if I run over a dog-"
He cut me off.
"I meant find somewhere to sleep for the night. You're a hazard driving like this."
"Excuse me?" I replied icily, "I'm a hazard? I'll have you know I'm one of the safest drivers-"
I turned the car back onto the road and continued without acknowledging the statement.
"-in the country, I would think. Licenses from all over. Even won a few races."
My voice was starting to sound woozy and even a bit drunk. Okay, so maybe I did need a bit of sleep. I wasn't admitting that to Thing though, that would be like admitting that he knew more about my limits than I did.
I couldn't live something like that down.
"How about I borrow some of that life-juice of yours? It'll probably eliminate any need for sleep whatsoever. Like a caffeine rush, except without the coffee flavour and sugar and water and those little pouches of weird creamer stuff that I never really understood the purpose for..."
Now I was babbling. Maybe not sleeping for a week really did have bad effects.
I wouldn't know either, because a second later I'd passed out onto the steering wheel, my head hitting the horn and the sound blaring loudly into my ears just before black invaded my vision.