Like ninjas, the Set of Seven silently crept their way through the city streets, their hearts stilled by the confidence in their mission.
The Seven, a group of young female anarchists from around Canada, are known in protest circles across the country for their solidarity of purpose and today they have shown up in the nation’s capital to disrupt a protest being held by a group of one thousand god-fearing citizens who believe brothers and sisters should not be allowed to marry.
“There’s no respect for the basic tenet of freedom in this law-abiding society,” Leader Three said to the group as they snaked their way up to the doors of City Hall on their sit-up flattened, heavily exercised stomachs. “Keep that in your mind when we get to the heart of the protest and then keep it there. It is our beliefs that will act as our bullets.”
Each woman in the Seven is a Leader, yet none of them leads. They act as one and they act for many. Dressed in black, full-body leotards and woollen balaclavas that cover their faces, they operate in a cold and calculated fashion that often leaves protestors wondering how their opinions had been so easily swayed. One would be hard-pressed to spot the stealthy bunch under the shroud of night — assuming they could be spotted at all.
But sometimes, even members of the Seven had their doubts about the collective intellect and purpose of their group and disputes often arose owing to the hard-headedness of its members.
“I wish these protests were held a little earlier,” said Leader Five. “I’m getting the impression that these sheepish cattle eating their lunch can see us crawling through the grass despite our theoretical invisibility.”
Leader Five was right. One thousand sets of eyes had turned from the protest pulpit to stare directly at the group as they literally inched closer to their target — a black man and a white woman who stood at the main entrance to the City Hall building who had also temporarily ceased their chanting to focus on the slowly moving line of anarchists.
The Seven paid no heed to this development and they continued their crawl in near silence.
“It’s really hot in these outfits isn’t it?” Leader Seven yelled to Leader One at the front of the line. “Do you think we really needed to go with black? In the middle of summer? I’m just sweating so much right now. I mean if it were a night protest I guess it would have made sense but in the middle of the day? I can’t help but think that this is only hurting our credibility.”
“You’re too new to understand this Leader Seven,” Leader One yelled back. “That’s why you’re only Leader Seven. These black outfits conceal us no matter what time of day. If we were dressed in white or normal day clothes people might think we were siding with these filthy freedom haters. And that is so anti-anarchist.”
“Yeah I guess so,” said Leader Seven. “It just seems like fitting in would have been an easy way to infiltrate inconspicuously. This works too though. I really want to be part of this cool gang.”
“Stop calling it a gang, we’re anarchists. Now shut-up everyone we’re getting close.”
The sun continued to beat down on the women but for the most part they paid no notice to the sweat pouring into and then burning their eyes. Their target was well within sight, and once they reached it, they would surprise everyone by revealing that they were not in fact anti-incest and instead pro-freedom.
“We are almost at Ground One!” yelled Leader Three. “Get your signs ready Seven. We can no longer allow these infidels to take away our freedoms!”
“You know, I’ve been thinking and it is kind of gross to let brothers and sisters marry,” said Leader Seven to the group before they had fully risen. The group stayed half-crouched while they listened to the rest of her argument. “Maybe we should just cut our losses and get out of here. Yeah, actually I think that’s probably the best idea.”
“You’re weak Leader Seven,” said Leader One. “If you leave now, you’ll end up living in a country where you cannot marry your brother, or kiss your mother open tongued. Does that sound like freedom? No, don’t answer that. I worded that awkwardly plus it was a rhetorical question.”
Three feet away from the front entrance, Leader One sprang to her feet, pulled a sign out of her shirt and unrolled it for everyone to read.
“Look and Learn Pigs!” she yelled at the crowd whose attention was now focused back on the protest pulpit.
“What’s that supposed to say?” someone yelled from the crowd.
“Oh shit,” said Leader One looking at her soggy sign. “Well if this sign wasn’t covered with my freedom sweat you would be able to see what we all feel. It says, or used to say, Love thy brother! Now don’t you all love your brother? Aha, see I knew you did. Yet you’re out here protesting the right to marry him.”
“Oh I’m going to puke,” cried another member of the crowd. “They smell so bad; do they ever wash those outfits?”
“Freedom fighting doesn’t take laundry breaks,” yelled Leader Six. “So no, I guess we haven’t washed them in a while. But you’re all missing the point. These government clowns want to take away our right to make an educated decision on who we love. Surely none of you think that’s right. Stop the WAR Machine!”
The Seven started hearing murmurs make their way through the crowd much to their delight --- as always, brining out a call to stop the war machine was causing a stir.
“It won’t be long before one of them realizes the mistake of their ways,” said Leader Two to the rest of the women. “Then it will be two of them then four, then eight, then sixteen, then thirty-two, the sixty-four, the ninety-seven, and so on and so on, you get the point.”
“I hope your brothers are all gay!” Leader Four out of nowhere yelled at the crowd.
“Wait, what does that mean?” Leader Seven asked he quietly. “I’m not sure you put that in proper context. Are we protesting for homosexuality? Or against it? I thought it was incest.”
“I was mad, I lost a little of my control, I’m not sure what it meant either, it just sounded right at the time.”
“Shut up everyone,” Leader One yelled to the girls. “I don’t know if we’ve made our point yet. The black man here still seems pretty upset,” she added, winking at the girls and making a gesture with her shoulder to indicate she meant the black man standing directly behind her.
The black men then pulled a trick not often seen in protest circles --- he used his wits.
“You have thoroughly changed our minds wise sages,” he told the Seven. “If you wouldn’t mind getting into the police vehicles over there I could get them to take you directly to the courthouse where you personally could tear up the only copy we have of the proposed law.”
“I agree to terms,” said Leader One. “You savages have proven yourselves anarchistic and we are proud. Please let us huddle.”
“I think he’s fibbing,” Leader Seven said to the group, now huddled and looking at the police cars as their key to victory. “It can’t be that easy. We barely even said anything. At least anything that made sense”
“I did threaten them with homosexuality,” said Leader Four. “That could have been it.”
“Seven, it was my sign and its message that convinced them but it doesn’t matter anyway, they clearly believe in what we believe in so I suggest we get in those police cars and tear up that law.” She turned to the black man and let her know their decision.
“We will tear up the law for you. We have done this before and doubt any of you could go through with such an anarchistic action. We will be back for the post-protest party and educational session. Adieu.”
The black man finished up his conversation with the police officers who made a move over to the Seven and put them one by one into handcuffs.
“Just for the cameras ladies don’t worry,” said policeman number one.
“Of course,” said Leader One. “Lead us away.”
“That was nice Leader One, where did you get that last word?” asked Leader Five.
“It’s German for victory — I heard it in a dream of mine. Now ladies to our police escort and to triumph.”