This entire day was becoming extremely awkward. Here I was, dressed in a boring school uniform, my hair messy and windblown from the fall and the trip up the rainbow (I was starting to think that the word 'trip' would be having multiple meanings today), meanwhile there were dwarves leading me to big, sparkling castles where unicorns and faeries were dancing freely. I swear to God I heard music playing from somewhere hidden, or maybe the world was just constantly in crescendos of violins and flutes.
"Listen here, mister... uhh, dwarf. I think you've made a rather huge mistake here. Or, you are simply doing your job as the product of some hallucinogen I ingested today... or perhaps a concussion..."
The dwarf stopped and looked at me.
"I'm not your queen, is my point." I said, avoiding the creature's big blue eyes; hidden beneath very thick, white eyebrows.
He just kept looking at me. Staring. I was getting uncomfortable.
Suddenly, he gestured to my left. "You see that family of centaurs over there?"
I turned to look. Sure enough, a pair of centaurs and their child were grazing (if you could call it that) in the nearby field. The female was tall and beautiful, her horse-parts white while her human attributes held bronzed skin, golden blonde hair, and big green eyes. She was truly stunning. The male was a stallion, that's for sure; black hair and a black horse body, with dark eyes. Had we been the same species, I would've been drooling. The child was spindly and awkward on it's slender legs, the baby face of a child, with long black hair like her father.
Finally, I nodded to the dwarf. "What about them?"
"They had a son, His name was Leyadren. Goerg introduced conscription here in Lalaland, and one creature from every family had to be sent to fight off the enemy."
I looked to the family again, and sighed. "Let me guess... he was killed in action?"
"Worse," the dwarf said. "He was turned to stone."
"Of course he was." I said, shaking my head. "That's not worse than death, though."
"You don't understand..."
"No, I do," I interrupted, leaning down to look him in the eye. "I've seen this movie. Creatures get turned to stone, then a bunch of kids save the day and some big animal with magic powers breathes on them and brings them back to life. There's still hope for Lay-... Ler-... Larry, whatever his name is. But the kid you need to save your world, it's not me. Hate to break it to you."
The dwarf was stunned into silence.
"Have you ever read Joseph Campbell, dwarf? I bet not, so let me give you a little lesson in Literature, which is where this entire hallucination belongs, by the way," I stood upright again and started to pace. "He has this theory called the monomyth, saying that every story ever told, every fairytale or adventure or fantasy, is composed of one single plot line, used again and again. Varied upon, you know. The enemies change, the heroes are different, but there's always a conflict, the hero's call, a supernatural aid, and of course, the boon gathered after the apotheosis and so on and so forth." I stopped pacing, and looked at the Dwarf. "Well, there's a part in the story where the hero refuses the call, and that's what I am doing... right now!" I huffed after my angry rant for a moment, then continued. "Now, if you'd please, please, turn into an alarm clock or something so I'll wake up from this retarded dream, then I can go home and back to my normal life... and perhaps look into some therapy!"
I stood there, breathing heavily and glaring down at the dwarf. He stood there, looking very small, and staring at me in some look between fear and irritation. He sighed finally, and looked right into my eyes. "It's your destiny, child."
"Screw your fancy-land destiny!!" I screamed.