The Depressing Chapter

March 18

We've fiiiiiinally arrived and set up camp. Wow. I'm telling you, I'm never going on a military campaign ever again.

 I wonder what my old life in Canada is up to. I guess I'd be declared officially missing by now. Amber alert (is 17 too old for Amber alerts?), missing-person posters, police files, and all that. Newspapers would have headlines speculating my kidnap by some psycho rapist or someone. If this was the old days, my picture would probably be up on milk cartons. Haha, that is quite entertaining to imagine. But I  do feel kinda--ok, really guilty that my parents are going through all that worry while I'm up here gallivanting around in Lalaland. 

  I have thought about the fact that I might be dead. Maybe I was ran over by a car while sitting on the asphalt. So I would be in Heaven right now...or, er...some version of afterlife. Hmm. I never thought that Heaven would be full of llamas and dwarves and things. You know, if this place was indeed Heaven and the world found out, imagine the major religious turmoil it would provoke. Not a single religion thought of factoring unicorns into their doctrine, did they?

 So I don't think I'm dead. But I might as well be, as far as everyone on Earth is concerned. And I'll never see them again.

Wow. That is really depressing.

And I never even got to do the Lit test that I'd studied so hard for.

Somehow, absurdly, it is that trivial, unimportant thought that pushed me to tears, more than anything.



 So Jacques came upon me crying like an idiot, clutching my journal and getting tears all over it (sorry, journal). He asked me what was wrong, and it all came blubbering out. Needless to say, I totally succeeded in my goal of looking cool and Princess-like in front of a hot guy. He was really nice about it, and so was my drawf. He told me that though they needed me to be Queen here, I could visit my parents in dreams and stuff. Make sudden cameos in classes and get everyone to think they saw a ghost. That made me laugh. I feel guilty though, because they were quite busy planning an attack and took out time to comfort me.

Ah well. There's one upside. At least I don't have to worry about universities and careers and all that junk.

Tomorrow's the day of the attack. It's going to be a surprise one, and everyone's hoping that Bosh won't have his nuclear weapons (or tanks) ready in time before we swoop in and stage a coup d'etat.

Fingers crossed!

The End

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