You look around you and pray she'll shut up, then you try to drown her out with the cries of the screaming child, but even he has met his match. Mother 1, Child 0.
She's still going...
"...anyway, this kid goes off to college to study some artsy fartsy thing, crap if you ask me, and he gets into the crack. Spends all his poor mother's money on the crack. Ends up in default with his drug dealer on some loan. HE WENT INTO DEFAULT ON HIS CRACK PAYMENTS! I mean his poor mother! THE SHAME! So what's wrong with you?" She finally asks.
"I cut off my arm and am bleeding to death on the street right now."
"How the hell did you do that?"
"I was trying to escape from my mobius strip room."
There is silence on the receiver...finally.
"Mother. Call me and ambulance."
She sighs and says...
"Fine. But will you first shut that damn kid up before I reach through the phone and do it myself?!"
RATINGS BREAKDOWN
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