The Sarcasm of it all

A nameless boy and his meowing leopard cub he calls 'Cat', who calls him 'Sarcasm', live in a tent on the rooftop of a four storey building. They're not exactly homeless, the rooftop supposedly their home, but they had no interaction with other human beings until a certain Friday morning when a girl begins taking up residence in the alleyway next to the building they live on. Why is the girl there? Why is Sarcasm there? Why does Cat meow? Questions, questions and so many things to be explained.


A leopard cub sat on a nameless boy's face one Friday morning. 'Cat!' the boy laughed. He sat up in his tent, making Cat fall onto his lap. Bright sunlight shone from an alarmingly large hole in the top of the tent. Cat mewed thrice to mean the three syllables of 'Sarcasm', what he called the boy. Sarcasm looked up and squinted, "We're going to have to fix that." Cat looked at Sarcasm in a way that obviously meant, "You say that everyday." Sarcasm somehow understood, "I know." Sarcasm, as his nickname suggested, had a habit of being sarcastic. He looked through the hole and decided to set up the folded roof again, and leave it there for once.

The folded roof looked a lot like a giant brown book on top of four giant twigs. Sarcasm had collected many thrown out tables to make it, along with some duct tape he had found on the streets. The top of the roof was oddly coloured by different kinds of bird output because Sarcasm couldn't wash it away. He was a teenage boy living in a tent on a rooftop with a leopard cub to support after all. After Sarcasm unfolded the roof and set it up, he opened a can of sardines he got from a bag at someone's door that was supposed to be given to a charity to help homeless people, and gave it to Cat. Well, he was sort of homeless in a way but according to him, the rooftop was his home. He still took the can anyway, though. Cat just ate the sardines happily, before mewing loudly at Sarcasm. Sarcasm sighed, "I've told you a billion times, Cat, I need not eat or drink, I run on sarcasm." Cat seemed to narrow his eyes at Sarcasm, "As if!" But it was true. Sarcasm never ate or drank anything, it was the strangest daily occurance that he wasn't starving or dehydrated. Cat ignored this fact. It would be too much for him to remember what made Sarcasm that way. Sarcasm couldn't even remember. He thought he had always been that way. He thought that all humans ran on 'sarcasm', that only cats, or leopard cubs apparently, needed to eat and drink. Suddenly, a voice from the alley next to the building they were on complained, "Stupid dad, stupid mom, stupid Notaline, stupid Zeth! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Then the source of the voice broke down and began crying loudly. Sarcasm climbed down the building, holding on to the pipe outside that wasn't connected to anything any more for support, and hid behind a crate in the alleyway. Sarcasm had never really talked to another person before, so when he saw a girl sobbing in that alleyway on her knees, he hesitated. Thoughts flooded his mind. There was

'Who is she?', 'Does she need help?', 'Where's she from?' and, a rather unlike Sarcasm thought, 'She is totally out of my league. If I'm in a league in the first case.' Sarcasm stared at the girl. She looked around his age, fifteen, she had straight black hair down to her elbows and bright blue eyes, like the sky. She was dressed nice, according to Sarcasm, at least, better than his homeless self. She had a petite figure and average height, judging by the length of her legs. Her skin was perfectly tanned but her arms were covered in cuts. Sarcasm's eyes widened. Cat mewed, "Yes, I'm pretty sure she needs help. Go on! Talk to her!" Sarcasm looked at Cat, "Okay, but I'll get hit." "Who are you?!" an agitated voice said from the other side of the crate. Sarcasm looked up. It was that girl. "Oh great. Look at what you've gotten us into now!" Sarcasm blamed Cat. Cat mewed angrily in response, "Me? Who asked you to come down here anyway? Me? No, you did!" "Who are you people?!" the girl interrupted. They both turned to the girl, remembering she was there. "I'm a hired assassin plotting the assassination of the president and this is my German Shephard, Cat," Sarcasm answered calmly. The girl gaped at what he just said. "Okay, fine. Homeless weirdos. Cat calls me 'Sarcasm' and I call him 'Cat' but we don't have real names. So," Sarcasm tilted his head to one side, "who are you, my not-so-fair lady?" Sarcasm's grin was slightly disturbing and welcoming at the same time. The girl figured they were harmless and began, "I'm Ninty Farewell, and I have a proper home. Not that your home isn't proper, but I mean... you know." Sarcasm smiled, "I'm sorry but I don't care. What I said earlier is true and you know too much. I'm sorry but because of what I said I'm going to have to kill you. So sorry." Then, with a frown and a serious tone, turned to Cat and said, "Well, get her, Cat." Cat growled Ninty. Ninty gaped again before laughing.

Sarcasm smiled again, "So why are you here?" "Long story. It starts in February..." Ninty sat on the crate and began telling her story. Sarcasm smiled throughout, but he wasn't really listening. All that mattered was that she was there, and he had this need to keep her there. Sarcasm didn't know where that need came from, but it seemed pretty reasonable. At some point in the story, Ninty said, "..so I ran away from home and.." That made Sarcasm give in to the need. His grin became more disturbing than welcoming but managed to not scare Ninty, "I get it. You can stay in this alleyway. We can make it your home for the time being." Cat looked at Sarcasm, "I don't like that look. I don't know it. Sarcasm, come back! Go home Ninty!" Cat looked at Ninty with pleading eyes. Cat heard of stories of a person you knew like the back of your hand just disappearring and turning into someone who you didn't know any more and he could relate to them right then and tried to explain to Ninty. But Ninty didn't understand, she ignored Cat, "Really? That would be great!" Ninty was oblivious to what she was getting herself in. Cat was still pleading Ninty, unwilling to harm his own friend even though he didn't know who 'his friend' was any more.

Sarcasm just kept grinning.

The End

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