I want to go, no, I have to go


Things are too different to explain. Impossible to explain. I can't imagine how anyone on the planet right now could feel more pain than me. I had to say goodbye, to my friends, to everyone. But I haven't said goodbye to two people, and we all know who they are.

I slowly walked towards a white door, when I got there I breathed out a heavy sigh and knocked.

"It's been a while. Come in."A voice huffed. I opened the door and quietly shut it. Then turned to see Shua looking out of the window at Echobon. I felt like walking back out as soon as I saw him. "You're leaving." He announced, but I know he already knew. I didn't need to nod either.

"Tomorrow."I whispered. He turned and look at me then beaconed me over with his index finger. I uneasily walked over to him and stood a metre away. He walked closer so I felt his breathing above me. I looked up at him.

He slowly took the back of my neck and whispered in my ear, "I have always loved you. Since the day we met," I froze. He did love me. Then he whispered, "be careful, if you got hurt I would die. You are my north star, my perfect, perfect north star. I don't want to loose you." I was physically shaking as he took me in his arms tightly. i hugged him back.

"Why did you wait?" I whispered. We both knew what I was talking about.

"Because I knew you loved Max, and I knew you would choose him." He replied calmly, he wasn't angry at all. That surprised me.

He rocked me gently in his iron arms. "I can't choose," I whispered, "Max just seemed..."I didn't know what to say.

"Seemed like he would keep you safe because he has protected you before." He whispered. I nodded in his chest. He took my chin and forced me to look at him. "I'm not angry with you Sheeta, I would never be. I love you, and right now is all that matters."

We hugged tightly for which felt like hours, but was only minutes. I didn't want this to happen, I wanted to stay but I wanted to go. No, I have to go. I need to.  He took the back of my neck and whispered into my cold ear,

"Take care." Then silently walked away from me. Forever. No kiss, no goodbye. Just 'take care'. Those were the words that made my heart beet speed up. Those were the words that made me feel small and defenceless like an elephant compared to a mouse.

Those were the words...that begged me to stay.

The End

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