Day 35 of Echobon
I don't want to choose between them, but I must. If I want to get home then I have to choose. I can't deal with this any more, because the truth is I'm tired, of Echobon and Max and Shua. Of being Sheeta and rain. It's just not fun any more...it's just not.
Shua is kind and considerate. He is handsome and smart and he cares for me alott, but does he love me? Maybe before when I fell asleep and Max asked Shua if he loved me as much as Max did he said that he didn't love me whatsoever. Maybe he said he loved me too much, more than I'll ever know.
I want to cry, I want to cry right now. I can't show my emotions in public and I can't alone because I need comfort. I want to scream. I want to scream so very loud at nothing, at everything. At something. I'm crying now and all I want is love.
That's all I've ever wanted. That's all I ever needed, even back in London. I want love, I have to have it. Even if it breaks a heart, even if it breaks my own heart.
I need help, I need comfort, I need a tissue and I need Max and Shua.
But most importantly...I need a friend.
I slammed my book on the ground and put it under my bed, covering my eyes with my hands. I was engrosed in my little bubble when a tap on the door interupted me. I slowly looked up to see Keira, smiling at me.
"I'll only help you if you're upset," she grinned. I sniffed and let her walk over to my bed and sit down, wrapping her arm around me. "I've seen the way they look at you..."Keira sighed loudly.
"Who?" I wiped my nose on the back of my arm and looked up at her. She giggled.
"Max and Shua, their fighting over you." She shook her head in dismay, staring out at Echobon through my window, watching ships fly past. I could see a green monster on her shoulder, but this monster was different.
"Oh," I looked back to the floor.
"Yep...oh. Look, I know it's difficult but I swear I'll try my best to help you as much as I can. I'm going through something terrible too." I turned my head slowly back up at her to see tears in her eyes.
"Tell me." I demanded, crossing my legs and looking at her.
"You'd get bored." She smiled.
"Try me, I have all the time in the world," I grinned back.
"Yes well me and him were childhood friends. Very good friends, along with Shua, but Max wasn't there then. They were both good to me and as we got older I started having strong feelings for Shua. Shua pushed me away and I felt that If I liked Chiaki then he would want me back. Sadly little did I know I'd have feelings for Chiaki. We were still all very young and I don't know how but we got pushed apart." She exhaled deeply and carried on, "Until last week, I hadn't seen Chiaki since I was 7 years old when he showed me the sun. Chiaki isn't the bad person...he's just done some bad things." I listened to her long speech, imagining things in my mind from when they were children.
"Do you care for Chiaki now?" I asked.
"I don't know...I suppose it's been so long that he's forgotten about me and I've forgotten about him." I struggled to listen. "But things happen for a reason right?We wern't meant to be together and that's that."
"Why does all love have to end?!" I cried and she shushed me, rubbing my hair with her cheek.
"It doesn't, you just need to find the right love to fall in love with," I felt the message behind her words.