Thoughts in Expressions...My Mind @ Work Fighting the Crutches.
A plague on eminence and mind fucked by crowd of thoughts! I hardly dare cross the street anymore or walk down the market without a convoy. Alone I stay more busy while with an audience I feel isolated. I am stared at wherever I go like an idiot animal in a zoo; and zoo animals have been known to die from stares...
“Life's a journey..." Now how many times have I heard that! But is it a journey?? This is what I ask myself again and again; when reminded (that is like alomst evry day!!). Each day passes by, setting new layer of dust onto the already stratified and hardened surface of memories, experiences and bullshit. Should have this been a journey....it would have already ended...But thy life isn’t a journey it’s more of motions in circle: no ENDS, instead, always repeating the same phases again and again...
There are these times in life where you feel like leaving everything and hope that you never existed. Hard times I say. They make life miserable and make you think on so many issues that you had never given importance. Sorrow fills up empty spaces in the mind and deepens everything around you. Action becomes something out of reach and thoughts seem to delude the soul of its cherished existence. Colors distort and greys of time bleed out onto the canvas of loneliness, despair and guilt. Death reaps poisoning both body and mind. The world seems as an illusion just waiting to grab hold on to you and grip you in its clutches so hard that you feel it’s all a dream. You hear whisperings coming on to you and synthesizing you back to sleep and promising you everything will eventually work out well. But..But that does not happen; this "illusion" grows stronger till the time you seize to feel anything and the senses just fail to carry on.
It seems unfair at times why everything had to turn up this way; why you were the only one to be dissected of all the joy in life and be left with sorrows to befriend with. The agony defines itself with the worthiness of your sufferings, and voices in your head start telling you "everything’s over...Nothing remains now. You had your chance but you preferred to throw it away so now suffer till you can’t feel even the sensation of being numb. Drown yourself in the pool of misery and loneliness as this was what destiny had in store for you".
It’s strange to experience how things differ from person to person, contradicting them self with the basic fact that had meant to be commonness for all...Unity in diversity finds its true form with this I guess! Things always don’t make sense when trying to figure out one’s own life but is always sorted into proper organized pieces when analyzing some other person’s life.
Mere faith does not seem to solve the problem but always does a magical work of providing one with more power and tolerance to take more pains in life. It’s like a drug that vitalizes your senses pumping energy. Enthusiasm may delude itself from your bosom but the fact will remain that there is much to achieve and you can’t stop now. It’s a substantial proof from the fact that a vulture does not scare itself to death or think once of failure while climbing fatal heart-throbbing heights in the most isolated barrens, anytime in its life. Although examples will just remain examples, not turning on!
Wishing “airplanes be shooting stars to make wishes” is what we like to think but the truth standing firm grounds is that it’s a way we satisfy our thirst for occurrences to happen as per our will. A crutch we can’t give away with…Wasted Life!