My opinion on ones past, problems, ect.
My old theatre teacher told me a story once. It went something like this.
"One time I had a neighbor that had always had the pavement in front of their house crack. They would pay a worker to fill it in, but after a few months the crack would reappear. It seemed like a lost cause, until they got tired of it cracking so they dug to the bottom. There was a root of a tree underneath, all that time they tried filling in the top when the problem was deeper"
She related this to life, when someone has a problem, they will never resolve it, and all it does is lead to bigger and badder. They will attempt to "Fill in the crack" When really they have to dig deep and get rid of the root.
This applies to everyone, if something is unresolved, hang in there, it takes time to dig to the root, but once it is resolved there will be a weight lifted. Now I understand this is hard to do, I can't even really do it myself. But in time I know it will happen.