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Terry explains her plight

Eustace stood there, frozen in shock as the changeling looked at him from behind what he would have guessed were completely human eyes. She blinked a longer than normal blink that seemed to snap him out of his awed reverie.

"Clothes, right. Of course. Let me just..." Eustace mumbled as he turned to his WOG approved garment closet.

Opening the door his vast array of grey and off-white WC clothes seemed to gleam in the late afternoon sun. He seemed to suddenly realize just how controled his exsistance was and had a momentary lapse into anger. He usually tried to subdue his activist tendancies for fear that the WOG had actually perfected their thought-reading machines. Just another of the control tactics they were working on, who knew if they were telling the truth about it not working yet.

"Please, take these. I, I don't understand. How? Why? If this is what you look like when you change, why is everyone so afraid of you?" Eustace asked the changeling as he handed her the clothes.

"Please understand, this is not what I actually look like. Changelings can take whatever form we like, most of the time basing it on whatever you humans fear the most," she explained in a surprisingly soothing voice. "In this case I took the form that I believed would be the least frightening to you. I need you to listen to me."

Eustace stood there, trying to take in what he had just learned. For years the WOG had been feeding the general public stories about what mindless killing machines the changelings were. If what he had just heard from Terry was true it would mean there was a whole lot more at work in the minds of  these creatures than simple seek and destroy tendancies.

"We are not what you humans make us out to be Eustace," she explained as if to read his thoughts. "Your WOG has known about us much longer than most of you know. There has been years of testing before they released us into your world. We are being experiemented on and changed."

Eustace wasn't shocked to hear that the WOG had kept the changelings a secret for so long. He was sure there were many, many more secrets waiting to be released onto the unsuspecting masses of the WC.

"Experiments? What kind of experiments?" he asked, "What should I call you? I feel weird not knowing your name. Do changelings have names?"

"Terry is fine. We have no need for names, names are for those corporial beings who need to label everything around them," she explained. "The WOG has perfected an implant that they have fitted all the changelings that have been bred here in your world with. The implant is what makes those changelings vicious."

Eustace's mind was reeling as it tried to make sense of what Terry had just told him. Bred? Implants? He was not aware that the WOG had been breeding the changelings, let alone altering them. He suddenly wondered how it was that this implant was not affecting the changeling he had standing in his livingroom. He was brutally aware of what a clossal risk he had taken by inviting the tiny terrier into his living quarters.

"I was not bred here. I was captured and taken from my home. The implant that they used on me has not worked. However, I have had to act as the other changelings have acted. I have killed many men and women. I am sorry for that." Terry said. "The brutal nature of the implants is not just used on you humans, if the other changelings sense dissent among them they will turn on each other as well. It was not until today that I managed to find someone to help me and protect me from the savages outside. I thank you for your help."

"What? You mean they are hunting you as well? Why did you choose me?" Eustace stammered, unable to think of anything other than why he seemed such an easy mark.

"Yes, I am in danger of being brutalised the same way your fellow humans have been. This is not what is important, neither is why I chose you. What is important is The Rift." she said, seeming slightly annoyed with Eustace's questions. "The WOG doesn't seem to realize what kind of danger your world and all the other worlds they have pillaged are in. Please, sit down and I will explain as best I can what I know of The Rift and why you need to do something to get them to close it."

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11 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

Just Chatting
Spuds "Cool. This is the first time somebody had taken any of my stories or branches, few though they may be, anywhere. Somebody needs to factor in the military class soon. Well done."
Just Chatting
Writers_Block "As for the paragraphs, I hate spacing! I think its the most annoying thing in the world, it confuses the hell out of me when I'm trying to write.
On the plus side with my real writing I will go back and space out the paragraphs but its still its a thorn in my side and usually I won't do it here.
"
Just Chatting
Writers_Block "Yeah, again with the question marks, I was being very lazy I won't disagree :P.
Basically this story idea was based on a dream I had, so the way I wanted to write it was more of a pitch because in my dream there were no actual characters, no plot lines, no living aspects.
I basically had to piece together what I remembered (the dream was when I was 9).
I think that it will take off with other people deciding exactly what the story line should be.
I've done that with a few stories here, written out mostly an outline and then thrown it to the wolves.
I guess I just wanted to give people a starting point and see exactly what they would do with it.
All in all your 3 was probably very generous haha!
"
Just Chatting
DrPinch "OK, so I gave it three stars for decent, 'cos that's what it is. Idea wise, four, maybe five, but it's just too convoluted.

I have to agree with both comments so far: too much dry exposition - it's the pitch of a story, not the story, so as a piece of writing it's hard to really like. And it's lazy... No question marks, no real paragraphs! It was like reading an acid flashback stream-of-consciousness manifesto. Writing is communication and if you want to grab your audience and pull them in you have to make as much of an effort with the presentation as you do with the content.

I nearly gave up half way through because it was hard to read. But it has potential, so I stuck with it. I like sci-fi, nothing against it at all, but right now I'm not sure you made me care enough to care about this idea, if you see what I mean?

You should never tell us what a thing is (as in over-explain it), you should demonstrate it with the skill of your writing and make it live!
"
Just Chatting
Spuds "Wow. That's a lot of exposition. No characters and no hint of a plot - this was a tough read, but I suppose you just wanted to set the stage. I'll glue on my best alternate-reality beard and strap a dagger to my belt and see if I can contribute a branch."
Just Chatting
Rac7hel "So, you don't think any question marks would have helped that opening paragraph? haha ...Okay, it's a good story though. Do you play Rifts by Palladium?"
Just Chatting
Writers_Block "I trust ya, don't worry!"
Just Chatting
Rac7hel "Oh, blast. It's too long for me to read right now. But I'll be back. Mark my words."

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