You faint

"Oh my gosh I've got a talking pen and...."

Thump. You've fainted. Wonderful.

"Ooooh, you alright, honey?"

Turns out to be a girl pen.

"Man, you are seriously weird and uncontrolled, you know, dude?"

Or not.

"Ummmm.... areagehhgh geourgh blragehi," you manage to murmur.