Knocking on Peter’s door, she waited for him to answer it. When he did, his eyes widened to see David behind her, but he didn’t say anything except, “Are you joining us then?”

            “You’ve met?”

            “No, but we know of each other. Mutual friends, that sort of thing.” They pushed through the mess to the one clear space of Peter’s room – the bed – and sat down, shuffling the pack of cards. “Do you know how to play, David?”

            “Explain it to me,” said the older boy with a small smile, and Peter began to go through the rules.

            It was eleven o’clock before one of them had won, since they kept recycling the pack until they could play for no longer. “Are you coming tomorrow then, Peter?” said David, standing up and stretching out his arms behind his back until his shoulders clicked.

            “Coming where?” Aniviel spoke more sharply than she’d intended, looking from one boy to the other. “Where are you going, Peter?”

            “Oh. Nowhere. Um, David’s got some of his lectures with me, because his is a joint course between, um, Geography and Politics.” He was suddenly incredibly interested in his floor, or what you could see of it under the mess of papers and clothes. “So, you free tomorrow evening, Ani?”

            She looked hard at his face to try and tell why he was lying to her, but gave up after just a moment or two. “I guess so. The usual, then?”

            “Yeah.”

            Knowing she wasn’t welcome there, Aniviel picked up her cards and left the room. As she closed the door behind her, she paused to listen to the conversation now taking place in lowered voices. “I hate lying to her.”

            “She’d really get it if you told her.” David’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “Let it be for a while. If she works it out, she’ll understand, but if you try and tell her it just won’t sink in.”

            “Why can’t she come too?”

            “Does she want to?”

            There was a long silence. “I guess not. She doesn’t have any lectures on Fridays; she’ll be in the library.”

            “Exactly.” Footsteps came towards the door and Aniviel scarpered, clutching at her keys to try and open her own room as David came out into the corridor. “It’ll be all right, Peter, don’t worry so much. She’s a sensible girl.”

            “They always are,” her friend replied in a groan.

            She only just managed to get her door open in time, but as she was crossing the threshold David spoke. “You’ll get it one day, Aniviel,” he said.

            Turning to look at him, she said, “He knows you.”

            “We’ve met.”

            “You said you hadn’t.”

            “Well, sometimes it’s easier to lie than to explain.” David nodded his head to her, like he was a gentleman from a hundred years ago, then let himself into his own room a little further down the corridor and was gone. Aniviel shook her head to rid herself of the image and closed her door.

            It probably wasn’t something hugely interesting, and it didn’t really matter that Peter wasn’t telling her things. They’d only known each other two weeks or so; it wasn’t like they were closer than siblings or anything.

            Still, she had felt that they could confide in each other. She’d just have to go and meet him from his lectures. Then he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without her knowing.

            This seemed like a pretty good plan, if slightly stalkerish, until Aniviel turned on her light and saw the pile of books on her desk. They were difficult reference books full of fuzzy photos she was supposed to be able to see, and there was no way she could waste time tomorrow waiting for Peter to sneak off. Let him have his fun – she had essays to write.

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Author guidance for This story

So, this is draft two, following some critique from my sister. Because you're all too nice, and just correct my typos instead of telling me what's wrong with the STORY itself.

So yeah. Enjoy.

The original -
http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-quiet-ones-1

Feel free to compare it, but I'm adding in so much stuff at the beginning you probably won't even recognise it until about the third chapter or later :)

updated Sep 29 '11 by delorfinde