In the Kitchens

King Olyn climbed down from the platform that he used to access the back side of the painting. It existed in a secret passage that only Olyn knew about. He could come and go as he pleased, without anyone catching on that the jester SillyPants that everyone knew and loathed was actually the voice behind His Likeness, the King.

He snuck out the small door at the end of the passage, which was hidden on the outside by a giant rose bush. He had cut little paths through the underside of the leafy bush, so that he could hide in there whenever one of the small army of his enemies was out and about. He crawled through to the back door of the massive kitchens. When he was sure that no one was watching, he exited the bush and pulled himself up to his full less-than-impressive height of four feet, ten inches. He brushed the dirt off his voluminous purple neon pants and florescent puke green blouse and entered the kitchen door.

Sadie the head cook was busily reducing the carcass of a huge jack rabbit into minced meat. The way she was hacking away at it and laughing hysterically made Olyn wonder if 'Sadie' was short for sadist. In any case, he stood well back from the flying cleaver. When she had paused for a moment to lick the blood off her fingers, he stepped forward and cleared his throat to warn Sadie of his presence.

"Ahem ... good day to you Mistress Sadie. I came down to fetch supper for His Likeness. What is he having tonight?"

" Good day to you Master SillyPants. He is having roast quail and new potatoes. Had I caught this rabbit earlier, he would have been having rabbit stew. The potatoes haven't finished roasting yet, so you can have your supper now. I'll go get it for you."

She slid her three hundred pounds of flab off of the sturdy bench she had been sitting on at the chopping block. Considering she was only a couple of inches taller than SillyPants, she was literally as wide as she was high. She waddled over to the huge stone fireplace and ladled some thin leak and potato soup into a wooden bowl and brought it over to him. He sat at a roughly hewn oak table and looked into the bowl miserably. If it wasn't for the fact that he would be eating the king's supper as well, he would surely starve.

He sipped the soup slowly so that he could pump the cook for the latest gossip around the castle and in the village. Forewarned is forearmed. It was through Sadie that he had learned the rumour of a probable attack by persons unknown, and therefore his sudden need to purchase new weaponry.

The End

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