Me llamo Pepe. Es really Pedro, but I only learn to spell the P and the E.
I come to work today, the same as every day, in my only pairs of over-alls, what estill as always are caked in salsa stains, grease estains, and ecigarette burns. I wear my name tag what says Pepe: Dirty Mexican Cook. I only am able to read two of those words, but that es what they tell me it says.
I go to the kitchen and write esome of the words I know how to spell, on the Protagonize Menu. "Jejeje," I chuckle, as I write boobs and then cross it out and write chimichangas instead.
I put Mexican ingredients en the soups, and I hum that same espanish song I always like to sing, what says the words "señorita" and "sexy" many times. Everyone hates my singing and I believe they do not like me at all, but they do not esay anything to me about this because I am the only cook en Protagonize who is willing to work for twenty pesos per hour. I tell them that I need this money because I have families at home and that I must take care for them, but really I need the money because I must go to the Protagonize Pub every night to get drunk and buy tequila shots for the sexy young chiquitas there.
Now the pots of esoup are all full of different amounts of the same ingredients, so I light my fourth ecigarette of the morning and head for the men's room to take my break.
I try to slap Hannah's meaty culo as I walk in, but she escreams and espritzes me en the face with cologne, and that completely ruins the mood. (Also my esmoke does now taste like hair spray, which I never use but have esmelt before, once, when I walked past the Protagonize Hair Salon and almost puked up my last tequila into my current tequila.)
"Ten cuidado," I advise her, "esave some of that for you, sweetheart. I got a big one building up in here, and a whole half hour break to take it nice and eslow."
I laugh to myself and get comfortable in the stall that is the closest to where Hannah has to stand.
Ahhhhh, this is the best part of my day. (SPLAT!) I prop my feet up on the stall door, and esing to myself the señorita sexy song, and at times estop to blow esmoke rings out of the top of the stall. I am always laughing at Hannah every time she coughs, but I am laughing en espanish so I do not think she knows I am making fun of her.