Super Heroes: He Mist the Point

re: Chapter One

      While the honourable Mist makes a nice case for a stricter definition of the term Super-Hero, his argument is ultimately as conflicted as Curt Connors/The Lizard, and as dead wrong as Captain America's original sidekick, Bucky Barnes.

      As I understand The Mist's narrow definition, The Hulk is a super hero, but Prince Namor is not.

     This, of course, is about as logical as the way Bruce Banner's clothes rip to shreds when he transforms, but his boxer shorts (thankfully) do not.

     By the most conservative estimate, The Hulk's mayhem causes property damage in excess of four million dollars per rampage, while The Submariner saves the world by quietly sluicing through the oceans.

     I would respectfully submit that the labels Super and Hero apply more to the wing-footed amphibian than the green-skinned pepperpot, which fact lays lie to Mr. Mist's argument.

     It is also worth noting that by the honourable Mists's reckoning, the greatest of them all, Silver Surfer, would ludicrously be stripped of superherodom. Surely it is not Norrin Radd's fault that he was born on a distant planet and was imbued with cosmic power in a stirring sacrifice. Indeed, he richly earns his super heroness by freely choosing to flit about our troubled planet and lend a helping hand and cosmic blast whenever he can.

     That the honourable Mist's narrow considerations would also deSuperHeroize the God of Thunder, Thor himself, is further evidence that his argument is as silly as Ant Man.

     It is my more enlightened view that a Super Hero be defined as a human-like entity who uses powers either earned, invented, or accidentally acquired to contribute to the general well-being of humans, either jointly or severally, or the planet Earth or any reasonable facsimile thereof, in either this or any other dimension or age.

     Clear, logical and briefer than a Ben Grimm lament, this understanding would strip such pretenders as The Hulk, Ghost Rider, and Hell Boy of any super hero consideration. It would, of course, confer Super Heroization on the likes of the Fantastic Four, Green Lantern, Jesus, Doctor Strange, Muhammed, the ridiculous Daredevil, Gandhi, Walt Disney, and the Inhumans, which is as it should be.

The End

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