The Protagonize Courthouse buzzed early this morning in anticipation of the courthouse's inaugural case about to begin in mere moments. Even the (supposedly) ever-just jury of The Protagonize Moderators were abuzz with excitement, wondering what on earth this case may be.
By 09:00 CPT (central Protag. Time) the Bailiff, whom we could not identify at press time, attempted to call the court to order a few times, but could not capture the talkative crowd's attention. Finally the poor soul pulled out an airhorn and blasted it. Amazingly the crowd fell silent immediately.
"The Protagonize Court of Criminal Justice is now in session," the Bailiff began, sounding rather relieved. "All rise for the Honorable Judge N. Bouton."
These words were met with the scuffle of rising writers, all craning to get a good look at the founder of the site they all adored (which also provides a large portion of the Chronicle's audience). The Honorable Judge took his place, motioning for all to resume sitting.
"I call this court to order..." he started, only to be interrupted by a small voice in the back.
"Where's this place you call 'Order,' Your Honor?"
After a bit of commotion, Judge Bouton continued: "Well, now that it seems we have a court heckler, I can officially call this court into a general state of order."
"That's better," the so-far-unknown heckler called.
The Judge surveyed his courtroom a moment, then took up his bluish gavel. "How does your client plead?" he began ambiguously. Not knowing who the Honorable Judge was addressing, both Prosecution and Defense hesitated.
"Oh, get on with it!" the Heckler cried.