Sir Edward Nigel Blackthorne once served Her Royal Majesty from the years 1955 through the fall of 1971. During his tenure of service, he as able to maintain his anonymity by hiding in a coal bin in the basement of Buckingham Palace. Often disguised as a mischievous chimney sweep - a character in the play Mary Poppins was modeled after him- he would travel from location to location in the execution of his orders from the Royal Family. Using the alias of Benjamin Rhodes, often referred to as Dusty by those who knew him well, he would offer free chimney cleaning services to those in whom he had professional interest. Once inside their residence, he would then be able to eavesdrop on private conversations and at night slip down the chimney and snoop in all their private places.
Quite possibly his most famous case was the investigation into the rumors that the Royal Consort was consorting where he had not to be consorting. After a thorough cleaning of a majority of the fireplaces in East London, he learned that the rumors of flagrant philandering on the part of the Prince were completely unfounded, a misunderstanding. He discovered that to meet the budget of the royal household, in particular the upkeep of the royal yacht Britannia, the Prince had taken up part-time work as a door-to-door salesman for the Fuller Brush Company.
In 1971, during a draconian budget cutback, Sir Edward was relieved of his duties. Now in his late eighties, he is seeking to make comeback with one of the fine Fleet Street journals. Any one with an interest in his employment should contact his agent, Brown and Associates, 10 Downing Street, London.