The Staring Contest

He arrived on time . 7:45 on the dot. He was organised I'll tell you that . I'm late for everything.

We drove into the school parking lot and everybody's head was turned, yet again.

" Don't worry about them, they're idiots. I'll protect you if I'm needed !"

" Thanks "

Just then Trevor walked up.

" Dude what are you doing with Becca the freak ? "

I cringed at the sound of my own name beside the work freak. I already knew that's what they all called me behind my back or shouting it at me as I walked down the hall but to actually hear it with my name was sickening. I began to walk away.

" No Becca wait ! "

" Dude your gonna have to pick ! She isn't one of us ! " Shouted Trevor after us. I was nearly crying.

Freddy turned around.

" Fine I choose her ! Becca wait up ".

" Look it's ok your friends want you I'll just go back to being the nobody who fades into the crowd ".

" Don't ever say that ! Ever you hear me ! You are not a nobody to me".

I half smiled. He really knew how to make a girl feel better about herself with only a few short sentences. My life could not be this great. A guy was here choosing me over his friends and he liked me ! My Mom was coping with herself good these days and wasn't drinking at all. She was never down anymore. To top it all off my brother has come home and has promised to be here for us more. Sundays are now are family days. Well at least dinner time is. He would come over take her to church. ( I could do stuff then ) then he would take her home and I would cook us all dinner. Then I could go out or do stuff on my own.

Life was good. Too good. Something was bound to go wrong sooner or later. Burst my bubble it would . I shouldnt be too happy when I knew what was coming.

One of my teachers was out so I had a whole hour to myself to do whatever I wanted. I could do homework. Study. Talk to Freddy. I think I'll go with the talking part. He must have wanted to talk to me to because the minute he saw there was no teacher he looked for me , found my gaze, smiled and winked at me and then made his way over to sit next to me. My heart was racing.

I needed to stop this. This isn't the type of girl I am. I'm the depressed and down looking kind of girl. Not the one who gets all tongue tied over some hot guy. I'm not a princess girly girl. So couldn't I stop smiling at him ? Somebody please answer me that.

" Hey ! So I need to talk to you " He said while I still just stared at him. I stare a lot lately, it's like I have my own little staring contest with everyone else in the world.

" You do ? About what ? " I asked.

" I need to ask you something ".

"Yeah sure, what do you need to ask me ! "

" I was wondering if you could maybe I dunno, go on a date with me? " The last part of the sentence he said shyly.

" Me ? On a date with you ? "

" Yeah why not ? Is there something wrong with me ? "

" No no no not at all I'm just not your normal average type girl you know , I'm not YOUR type "

" How do you know what MY type is, you haven't known me for that long "

" True, "

" So will you or won't you because I need to make arrangements to make sure everything is perfect tonight "

" Tonight ? Hmm ! Ok sure why not. But nothing sappy ok I'm not in the mood for little violins playing in the background "

" I promise no violins. "

" Ok that's good then ! Oh could you do the conclusion on that english question, I hadn't a clue. "

" Yeah sure, you wanna take a look at mine to get an idea on what to do for yours ? ".

" Yeah thanks that would be amazing "

" Like you ! "

" Huh ? What I'm confused "

" You said that would be amazing and I said like you . I think your amazing "

" Really ? Why ? "

" There's something about you Becca, all the other girls in this school are so superficial and your not. It's like you will do whatever you want and anybody can judge you and you won't care "

" Yeah sometimes that quality isn't all that great "

" Why ? "

" People think I'm stuck up and that I'm a snob. But what's amazing is, is that if any of them knew how my life actually was they would be looking at themselves and thanking God they're not me ! "

" Why what's wrong with your life ? It's seems good enough from where I'm standing, or am I completely wrong? "

" There's a lot you don't know about me you know, a lot you wouldn't want to. My life is so complicated I'd only scare you away "

" Try me , you'd be suprised by how much I can handle! "

" Ok then. When I was growing up everything was perfect. We had our perfect little life. Dad with his job at the bank. Mom as the stay at home perfect housewife. Me the precious little girl that they adored and the older brother Travis the annoying older brother that you couldn't help loving. My Dad was also a musician. He thought me piano since I could use my hands, and by age seven I was as good as any 20 year old. He was so proud of me, always bragging to his friends about how his Becca was a musical genius. After piano he decided he was going to teach me guitar. He believed you can't live in the real world knowing how to play only one instrument when you had the talent to be able to play more than one. So we began lessons and I was progressing a lot and I was really enjoying myself. But then one day he had to go out of the country for two weeks so that meant no lessons. I was edging my way through the two solid weeks nearly dying to get back to having the most wonderful time of my life. Then it happened he came home . So the next morning he woke me up for school hovering over my head with a big smile on his face.

You ready for your guitar lessons to resume baby girl ?

Yeah Dad I can't wait.

Well then as soon as you home from school I will help you with your homework and we can eat dinner and then practice all you like I promise.

Pinky swear?

Pinky swear!

I rushed through the day not to mention to journey home. I don't think I'd ever seen a seven year old walk home so fast in my life. But when I got home he wasn't there yet. As I approached the kitchen I saw blood. A lot of it and my mother lying in the surronding pool with her wrists slashed, my brother was running around the room looking for a towel with the phone in his hand calling the ambulance. She was trying to kill herself. Just then I saw a note on the table.

Becca, honey I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. I've moved away for a little while but I will come back and get you soon and we can finish our sessons......

Love Dad.

I felt like crying. There was a lump in the back of the throat. Travis was 14 at the time and so I was sure he knew what he was doing. The ambulance came just on time to save her. But that didn't change the fact she did it in the first place. He left us and then she tried to end her life. I was never going to forgive him for it. I thought about it later that day and realised that he had pinky swore. He WAS going to come back and take me away. But he never did and I've never forgiven him for it . My mother is still taking pills for depression, my brother falls into our lives whenever he needs money and he has never called, not once to want to meet up with me or ask me how I am. I taught myself to play guitar after he left and have always told myself it wasn't his good teaching that made me as good as I am, it was all down to me because I didn't want to give him credit for anything, the only thing he got recognised for in my eyes was for ruining our family and my life. "

He stared at me as if he'd just seen a ghost.

" Wow, your right there is a lot I don't know about you. Are you ok that must be a terrible thing to go through ? "

" That's my point you can understand why I am the way I am all the time. None of them get that there is a reason for my constant anger with the world. I'm sick of being judged by them when they have no idea how my life is lived. "

" I understand completely "

Just then the bell went off .

He laughed .

" Well that was fast, we have lunch now and then gym and that's it for the day and then onto our date ! " He winked at me and the motioned for me to follow him like we always did. Then we strolled into the cafeteria and got some food sat down and talked some more without noticing anybody else around us. It was like we were inside our own little bubble. A place were nobody could hurt us. While on the outside everybody there was having a staring contest of their own, that for once I wasn't the master of. I was sitting with Freddy, I didn't care about anything else.

The End

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