The Princess Bride's Missing Watchmen

Prince Humperdinck was furious. “What do you mean, no one is watching the princess?”

“It is as you requested, sir,” Count Rugen purred. “Sixty men guard the castle gate, and there simply wasn’t anyone left to watch the bedroom.”

“How am I supposed to run a kingdom, Tyrone, if my henchmen are inept? You really have to see things from my perspective. If I can’t count on you to manage my castle, how can I expect you to handle bigger things?”

“I will take care of everything.” Count Rugen bowed and turned to leave.

The prince coughed. “Did I say you were dismissed?”

Rugen froze.

“Because I don’t remember saying you were dismissed. In fact, I quite distinctly recall that I was still speaking when you interrupted me, Tyrone.”


“Furthermore, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re doing your job at all.”


“For example, has the man in black been dealt with?”


“Or is he only mostly dead?”

“Apologies, highness.”

“Don’t fail me again, Rugen, or I’ll throw you in the Pit of Despair myself.”

The End

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