I Don't UnderstandMature

Unable to respond to her words, I turned back from facing her to the front of the classroom. The teacher had noticed nothing and continued to lecture on with the lesson. It was already too late for me. My mind was wandering away from the lecture, far away. It was stuck in my head, her words.

"Ah... If only I could be like that."

What did that mean?

What was it that she was refering to?

Being a loner?

How strange. I couldn't get it out of my head. But there was another matter that was more important than just her words. Why did my heart skip a beat? It made no sense to me. For someone like me to have their heart skip a beat because of the words she said to me was unusual. I couldn't understand, but perhaps I knew it deep inside. I was attracted to her, but what part did I become attracted to? It was mysterious, the thing known as the human heart. No matter how many books I read I still couldn't grasp the emotions that were built in the human heart. So strange, but it was also very intriguing.

Why did I respond back?

It was already unusual for me to respond back to someone so clearly like that. My heart was still racing at the thought of her only words to me all semester.

"Ah... If only I be like that."

Those words repeated over and over in my head. I was being captivated by just the words from her. By the time I realized it the period had ended with me only taking a few notes on the teacher's extravagant lesson.


I whispered to myself in frustration at having lost my sense of learning in the classroom. It was now time for second period and I wasn't quite mentally prepared yet, but nonetheless I had to go. I took a quick glance with my left eye to the left side of me at the girl who was still seating herself in her seat. The girl continued to look outside the window. I had never paid much attention to her until now. It was a strange phenomenon, perhaps because today was the start of class after such a long spring break that I was paying more attention to my surroundings in the classroom. After a while, the black long haired girl got up from her seat and got her items for her next class, while leaving her blue navy bag on the chair and carried only her books with her to the next class. When she got up from her chair I averted my gaze away and pretended to dig through my bag for my items.

What am I doing? Why am I even trying to avoid her gaze?

It was probably because I've been staring at her too much that I unconciously averted my gaze out of guilt. I waited a while after she had left the classroom with only her books before I, too, motioned to move from my seat.

I got up from my desk and took only the books that I needed for my next class. When I stood up the sound of the chair vibrated through the classroom alongside the other students who were doing the same thing as I was. Luckily, I wasn't the only one running a little behind on schedule, so I followed the other late students to the next class.

Most people in the school were assigned the same schedule aside from electives. The students in the school were also required to join a club of some sort. It was a common practice in Japan for students to join some kind of extracurricular activity to keep our health and life happy. Although I found it much more of a pain to follow this rule, there were some students who didn't follow this rule and instead went home, they became known as the go-home club.

I would've joined the go-home club as well if not for the fact that it wouldn't look so well on my highschool papers. Using such a reason, I ended up joining the Library Management Club. The Library Management Club was a club that focused solely on the idea of being in the library and helping around the school library. It was actually to my liking as I didn't particularly have to interact too much with people and the library was often quite quiet so I used it as my own private reading area. Even better, the library had a private room to lounge in during lunch time, which I often use to read books alone while eatting. That room is also being used as the club room for when meetings are held, but sadly the only member of the Library Management Club is me. The reason as to why the club hadn't been shut down yet is because the school appreciates the fact that I am managing the library for free.

Anyway, from the classroom I head into the next classroom that is assigned for second period with the rest of the late students. The instant I entered through the open class sliding door I set my books down on the desk and take a seat on the chair. It was now science class. In this class each of us were assigned a partner to work with which was usually always the person who sat next to us. Since it was the start of the new school semester we would be getting new partners. I turned to my right side to check who was sitting next to me when I realized who I was sitting next to.

Her black long hair swayed as she moved around her books and my eyes widened in surprise.

It couldn't be! Just how in the world!

Nothing in this world could explain my own surprise. The shock was too much for me. It could be said that this was a coincidence of fate, but that would be ridiculous. It was the same girl to whom sat to my left in the official homeroom classroom that belonged solely to the students. At a time like this, I could only widen my eyes in surprise as no words left my mouth.

A flash of her green eyes as she turned to look at me in a silent stare. I averted my eyes away from her after she turned to face me with her hair strands moving along with her body movements.

At that moment, her words resounded into my head.

"You always seem to be a loner."

"Ah... If only I could be like that."

The shock of it all made me remember her words. My heart skipped another beat as if dancing to the tune of her words. How sweet the words seemed to resound in my head. Her voice replayed in my head. Her voice sounded pleasant to my ears almost similar to how classical music was often soothing to hear when you go to sleep. It seemed as if her voice was something that descended from a painter's palatte made especially for me in different colors. Her voice was not deep but it was also not high pitched like most girls. It wasn't a voice that was annoying either. I could not explain it this feeling of being captivated by just her words and voice was something I had never felt before.

What is this feeling?

While I was lost in thought the teacher for second period had arrived and set his books upon his desk. His name was Bane-Sensei. His full name, by the way, is Ten Bane. Some people also called him KoiBane-Sensei, as he would often involve himself in the love affairs of many students as he found it intriguing to learn about the aspect of "love". This teacher was often known for being quite eccentric in his attitude towards science and all things that peeked his interest, but despite this I actually quite liked him. In fact, contrary to my personality I actually liked the lectures and company of this teacher as he always had something intriguing to say and I often learned a lot from him on my free time.

When he arrived all the students pulled their seats and sat down while inching forwards to their desk with their chairs. The class representative repeated the same lines for the teacher in the morning. The girl who was sitting next to me finally turned her head away from staring at me at this point and moved to look forward.

"All rise."

We all rise from our seats.


We all bow accordingly.

"Be seated."

We all sit down. Having to repeat such a process everyday becomes tiring, but it is tradition so it can't be helped. After repeating those processes though I seemed to have calm down and my heart was no longer racing, but the girl sitting next to me... What exactly was her name again? I can't seem to remember, but perhaps if I see her in my next classes I will eventually remember.

We remained like this for the rest of the period in silence. This time around I was able to take good notes and wasn't as distracted by her as before. Am I being to concious of her? I don't know.

She remained silent and hadn't said a single thing at all to me the whole period and before I knew it she was already leaving her seat without saying anything and heading to the next class. It was quite different to my first impression of her today. I imagined her to be more talkative, but now that I'm actually paying a little more attention to her my gaze kept drifting to her occassionally during the whole lecture.

She gave off a cool beauty appearance, one who was beautiful and perfect at everything. I thought that she would be more open and talk with everyone as that was my first impression of her when she suddenly spoke to me in first period, however that did not happen. She just sat in the classroom and diligently took notes without batting a single eye towards me. What a strange girl.

I couldn't understand it. What was so intriguing about her that caused my heart to skip a beat? What could it be?

I was pondering too much, I realized that, but even so... I wanted to know, but I am not a socialable person.

My eyes trailed her figure as it turned the corner outside the classroom sliding door.

Ah... What is this feeling in my chest? Somehow, I feel hotter than before.

The End

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