Bailiff: All those here for case 7198, please rise for the honorable Judge Fair. E Godmother!
The bailiff, a big bad wolf who is mean and perpetually, always hungry! He is rumored to have eaten the stenographer at his last trial, but since spitting her up, (she is alive and in therapy) he has been eyeing other court officials with an almost cruel mirth!
Fair E. Godmother: All right! All Right! Everybody cool yer heels! *Hic!* somebody bring me a bloody Mary and lets get this show on the road! *Hic!*
Fair E. Godmother one of the Fairy Judges who is usually always drunk and rowdy! She has six other sisters and all of them working for the magic commission’s office. She has a prejudice against toad princes and Ogres
Narrator: Oh ladies and gentleman it would be great! If you would pay attention to case 7198. It’s really very serious, I think that you'll see the evidence mysterious but cleared up by me!
Our old friend the Narrator, still skinny, still in tights, although his lute was smashed violently by Judge Wicked E Witch during his last trial. He now has a recorder that he keeps stashed in the side of his tights!
Fair E. Godmother: Oh! (Claps) Simply lovely! Certainly keeps the hum-drum out of the case, doesn't it? Well done you! *Hic!*
Narrator blushes and gives a very low sweeping bow bumping his nose on the concrete floor.
Fair E. Godmother: Alright every body! Lets get this show on the road! (The Judge begins to do the Macarena shimmying her hips in a wide circle before falling back to sit with an Oomph! In her chair.
Who’s first? Bring em’ on!
So let’s bring up the witness, a sweet maiden she, she’d clean up your castle and do it for free. For she slaves and she dusts, she scrubs and she mops, and no one can beat it for she’s truly the tops! Now she lives with her stepmother yet she looks like a fella, lets all say howdy to fair Cinderella!
Fair E. Godmother: (Claps) Brilliant! Just brilliant! Honestly! I can feel a promotion coming along for you! Yes sire-e!
Up from the galley comes fair Cinderella, pretty tall with long blonde hair topped with a glittering crown, big baby blues and a pretty pink pouting mouth, she sits prettily straightening her crown and smiling toothily at the Judge who squints drunkenly back, swinging her gravel idly in her hand.
Fair E. Godmother: Come on then gorge! Let’s hear the whole sob story then!
Cinderella looks a little puzzled before glancing helplessly at the Narrator. Narrator winks saucily before standing before the judge, recorder ready in his hands.
So let me help out and start this trial off, and talk first of a father, a saucy old toff!
He had one young daughter she sits here today with things of importance that she needs to say.
Her mother had died and Cindy was blue, so her father the lord looked for something to do!
He looked far and wide even tried match dot com, but it is hard work to find a good mom.
Finally in a land called the Canary Isles he found a widowed woman with feminine guiles, s
he had with her a daughter who looked like a pooh and the worst of it is there was not one but two!
Judge Fair E. Godmother: So come on then love! Let’s hear it! What appened’ when your mummy popped her clogs?
Cinderella: Well your honor I was about 16 when mummy…..when mummy…
Judge Fair E. Godmother: DIED! She DIED! Gosh spit it out!
Cinderella: (Eyes well with tears) Ahem! Yes that’s the one! Well Daddykins couldn’t bear to be on his own and he couldn’t bear to see me so upset, so he went and found me a new mummy!
Judge Fair E. Godmother: And what was your new family like? Nice? Caring? Fully of fluffy loving?
Cinderella: At first she was your honor! Daddykins certainly like stepmother, they were always smooching! Whenever daddy was around stepmother was lovely to me, she’d brush my hair and call me things like princess and snuggle bug!
Judge Fair E. Godmother: And when Daddy wasn’t around?
Cinderella: Well she was a bit…you know! Evil! She kicked me across the room like a football once; I bounced four times before I stopped.
Cinderella: I know! Right? And then she’d send the twins to come and pinch me or flick bogeys at me when I’m eating. I honestly thought it was an adjustment phase they were going through!