I took out the little black velvet box that once contained the diamond studs my mother had bought me for my sixteenth birthday. I only kept the box after I pawned them because of it was a good place to hide my stash. But I had replaced the real ones with cubic zirconia so that maybe, if we got raided, it wouldn’t appear too suspicious. I’m crafty like that.
Maybe he’s fine. I tried telling myself. But it didn’t do any good. Even if I could convince myself that my boyfriend was okay, the fact that my head and heart were pounding out of my body made it impossible to relax and think objectively. I took the earrings out of the box and carefully unfolded the velvet inside out to reveal the treasure trove of dope strategically hidden below the surface.
I took the Spike and the spoon into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. The click of the latch made me feel just a little bit safer. No matter what happened to Johnny I’d be able to handle it after I had my fix. No one could get me in here. No one except for me.
I turned on the cool faucet and cleaned out the Needle. There wasn’t time for me to do it again. It was going to be over in a second if I didn’t get it in me.
There was no stopping me now. I felt the reassuring tingle of anticipation in the soles of my feet that traveled upwards into my jugular, sending sparks flying into my brain.
Come on. Come on.
Johnny always said I had the prettiest veins. They certainly weren’t any more, but I didn’t even need to tie off before I stabbed at my bruised and purpling skin. I hated doing this myself. It was usually Johnny’s job. Like I said, he enjoyed watching me squirm.