“He’s waking up! Come quick guys!” the excited voice vaguely reminds me of someone. Claudine. Claudine is here. Right now. In the same room as me. Crazy Claudine.
I bolt up and a stinging pain in my back sends me falling back onto the many pristine white pillows. That wasn’t going to work so instead I open my eyes wide. My arms are covered in an array of different tubes and I’m hooked up to some sort of gently beeping monitor. A pinkish fluid flows into my right arm and out my left arm in time with my pulse. Claudine looms over me her hair falling on my face and into my mouth. I spit and flare my nostrils.
“Oh sorry!” she dragged her hair away from my face and squeezed out my saliva.
On the other side of me I see Mum. Her hair is artfully styled into a neat silver bun with wispy tendrils of hair catching the light softly. She’s wearing her favourite Dolche and Gabanna black and white suit with matching feathered Prada bag. I can’t see her feet but I’m willing to bet she has on her killer Jimmy Choos. That’s why I don’t talk to my mother.
“Honey, it’s about time you woke up, I’ve been in this suit for five hours, I need to change!” She arches her perfectly plucked eyebrows coyly, “Maybe my midnight blue gown. The one with the slit that reaches my hips. That Doctor Reynolds would like that one”
“Mum!” I manage to choke out, frustratingly angry.
“Calm down darling!” she laughs, “Ah, here comes your future father now!” I grunt and lower my eyes red-faced. Why couldn’t my mother act her age?
Doctor Reynolds was in his mid-thirties. Or his mid forties. Maybe even fifties by the look of those wrinkles. Through the gap in his white coat I could see a Tommy Hilfiger grey silk tie. Oh my mother had her claws in him that’s for sure.
“I trust your comfortable enough Mr Knight” he adjusted some tubing on my left arm and changed the fluid. The pinkish liquid turned redder.
“He’s fine” my mother speaks for me yet again. She licks her lips and pouts, “But I’m so distraught over my son’s accident that I need some comfort!” She reaches her spindly arms out to Doctor Reynolds and I just want to shout at her to ‘give it a rest’. But I’m caught.
“Accident?” I squeak. Everyone immediately looks at me. Doctor Reynolds squirms a little and loosens the bribe silk tie.
“I’ll leave you to explain Mona, Claudine” great he’s on first name terms with everyone except me, “Pandora” he leaves me wondering who on earth is Pandora.
Mum bites her lips and pats her hair while Claudine twists a diamond ring on her finger round and round.
“My sister?” My mother sobs loudly and wipes wordlessly at an imaginary tear caught in her eye.
“He doesn’t remember his sister! Good God, what are we going to do?” she wails. Claudine stretches out uncomfortably to pat my mother on the back in what I assume is in a consoling way. The diamond glints on her wedding ring finger.
“There, there Mona. I’m sure Pandora doesn’t mind too much” My mother sees the ring on Claudine’s finger. I don’t really register what it means.
“You’re going to have to call it off dear. He can’t even remember his own flesh and blood, how is he going to remember his vows?”
“I’m getting MARRIED?”
My mother moans loudly and puts her head in her hands.
“I knew it would upset him!”