‘I opened my eyes. There was nothing really to see, except a light bulb. It had a yellowish sort of light and it was making my head spin. Or maybe something else was making my head spin. I could feel it pulsing through my veins and I wasn’t sure if it was blood or something else. I went to move…Something.
My olive coloured long thing snapped into view. It was an arm, I was told. I had limited view so I could only hear the voices, not see the bodies they came from. I closed my eyes.
I heard some words that I had literally never heard before, from tongues I didn’t recognise. I took a deep breath- an unfamiliar movement for me. I blinked three times, to get used to the movement. I swallowed and my throat burned with the gesture.
I used my sore muscles to help me sit up. The scratchy white pillows and sheets comforted my abnormal skin. I took another deep breath and brought the arm to my face. I gave it a sniff. It smelt like…. Like nothing ever before.
The swallowing movement hurt a little less when I repeated it. I felt something in my nose, or, on my nose, as they say. I took my arm and used the nails on it to scratch my nose. The feeling went away.
I froze from my sitting up position and turned my head to the silverfish reflective surface that covered half of one wall. I immediately touched my neck. The muscles had seized up and they hurt so much. I was in so much pain. It went away. I moved my head slower this time, seeing a sudden curtain of light brown. I touched my head. The curtain seemed to be attached to me. I breathed in sharply and swallowed again. My throat burned away in the process.
I gazed at the window of reflection and saw a shape in it. I moved my stiff legs off the scratchy sheets and winced. The figure in the reflective surface did the same. I put one foot in front of the other and slowly made my way in front of it. The creature inside followed me even slower, taking a step whenever I did and squinting its hazel/green eyes at me. It had the same curtain of light brown which I realised was hair.
“It doesn’t know.”
“It doesn’t remember.”
I dropped my mouth open and the figure did the same. I widened my eyes and it did the same.
I fell to the floor as a sickening headache ran through me. I screamed out, shooting flames up my throat as I did and heard a crunch as I hit my head on the side of the bed and fell into darkness.
I saw a light. The tunnel I had been living in for days after being thrown out of my home was damp and dark. So I was surprised when I saw the light coming down through the tunnel. I heard nothing else but the dripping of the water from the rain. I heard a loud noise, like something breaking through the sound barrier of Earth. I gasped as I saw the light tumbling towards me. I turned, tripped, and ran. My heart pounded as I attempted to find my way around the twisted cluster of tunnels that ran higgledy piggledy throughout the ground. I leant against the wall, giving up, giving in.
I could hear buzzing in my ears, buzzing, getting louder and not slowing down. I yelled and screeched, clawed at my head for the noise to stop.
I sobbed, my had bowed when I heard a voice in my head telling me to let go, telling me that it will all be ok if I just give in and up. I told the voice that I already had. I had given up a long time ago. They told me that I wasn’t supposed to die though, that I was needed. I shook my head. I told them that I would rather be given up than to live another day of this shit life. I was scolded for using that language and then white hot lava poured down my throat.
It scalded my entire system. The white hot lava was just that: white and hot. It seemed pure somehow but even so, it erased my brain and as I was crying out for help, for anyone, for my…. I was gone. I had no memory of anything. It was all gone. I gave a laugh. I took a step forward and collapsed onto the ground.
The headache stopped. I opened my eyes and sat up.
“Maybe it wants some peace and quiet.”
A new voice joined in with the others and they all murmured before going completely silent. I gasped as I had done so long ago. I took another look in what I knew now was a mirror at what I knew now was me, what I knew was the new me, the new me that that they called it.
It was me and I was it.
I lay back on the bed and took a deep breath. My throat still killed from the white hot lava. I let a tear fall from my eye.
“It feels what it felt.”
“That made no sense.”
The new voice made another come back.
“Leave her alone.”
“It’s not a Her. It’s an It. You know that. You know what our mission was. You know what our mission is.” The angry voice hit back and I felt a sting. I stared up at the yellow light globe. I hated yellow light; I remembered that from the memories of the past.
As soon as I thought it, the light grew into a white light, just like the lava. I flinched and swallowed the thought. The voices were quiet.
“The mission is stupid. We have to talk to her first.”
“Then can we kill it?”
“I give you my word.”
With those words, I blinked three times and inhaled.
I exhaled and everything was silent.
I closed my eyes.