Zynga saves the World

3 days later 2:13pm


DUMB GUY comes RUNNING in, obviously dithered.

DEVELOPER:  Well, well, well.  Looks like someone has a whole lot of withered eggplants and strawberries to...\

DUMB GUY:  Sorry, sorry...I got hung up on the way

DEVELOPER:  Well, that means you're going to have to spend money on more pictures of seeds instead of that picture of a chicken coop we were talking about...and I know how excited you were about that.

DUMB GUY:  Yeah, well, I should buy a couple more pictures of seeds.

DEVELOPER: Hey, you'll get back up there.  Here, I'll help you out.  I just got in a picture of pumpkin seeds, they'll grow in only four hours so you can make up your pretend money even quicker, here ya go, $40, right?

DUMB GUY:  I can't...do...forty today.

DEVELOPER: Hey man, you know I'm not good with fronting.

DUMB GUY:  I'm so sorry.  I am so sorry.  Honestly...

DEVELOPER:  Stop.  Stop right there.  Something's going on.  What's wrong?  Something's bothering you, I can tell.  We're friends, right?   Talk to me.  

DUMB GUY:  It's just, my sister-in-law.  I told her about Farmville,  that I was continually paying you real money for something of absolutely no value whatsoever.

DEVELOPER:  Your sister-in-law?  You told her.  OK.  And what did she say?

DUMB GUY:  She made me go down with her to the food bank.

DEVELOPER: the Food Bank?  You went to the food bank.

DUMB GUY: Introduced me to some unemployed people, they..uh...had kids, you know...good people...tough times.

DEVELOPER:  And then what did you do?

DUMB GUY:  I'm sorry.  Look, I really have to go.

DEVELOPER: No, no, wait, wait.  Sit down.  Sit.  Take a deep breath.

DUMB GUY:  She took me shopping.  I bought groceries for these poor people...

DEVELOPER (clearly agitated): not with your...

DUMB GUY: yes, the money I was going to use for pictures of seeds.  You should have seen the look on the kid's little...

DEVELOPER:   Oh, yes - definitely, it's a beautiful gesture - beautiful, this is not a problem, definitely not a problem, not a problem.

DUMB GUY:  I don't know what...

DEVELOPER:  Of course, and you don't have to say anything, because I know you're a good guy.  Didn't I tell you you'd be a great pretend farmer?  The world needs more people just like you.


DEVELOPER:  Yes, you.  In fact, the funny thing is, and you're not going to believe this, but I had something all ready for you, a special picture of seeds....

DUMB GUY: for me?

DEVELOPER:  Oh, yes - give me a few minutes - I had it hidden in the back, you know just in case.

(10 minutes later)

DEVELOPER:  Look at these, my boy.

DUMB GUY: Are those golden seeds?

DEVELOPER:  You betcha!  And they're gonna feed the world, one picture at a time,


DEVELOPER:  Because I *knew* you were all about helping people.  You pay me the $40 and I'll give $20 to hungry people and you still get make believe money, now, how's that sound?

DUMB GUY:  Only half the make believe money?

DEVELOPER: Listen, I don't want to sound harsh, but is life all about make believe money?  The thing about make believe money is you can always buy more.  The important thing is that you have some, right?

DUMB GUY:  Well, no one got rich in a day.

DEVELOPER:  Exactly.  And hey, you don't have to feel bad about coming in here saying you spent money on poor people, but, really, life is about balance, right?  

DUMB GUY: Balance.

DEVELOPER:  And I know it's not easy trying to manage looking at pictures of fake food and buying real food for starving people, listen, of all people, I get that.  So, I forgive you.

DUMB GUY:  Yeah?

DEVELOPER:  Well, would you expect anything less from your best friend?

DUMB GUY:  Best friend?

DEVELOPER:  And I don't use that term lightly.  So, here, take these...

DUMB GUY:  But I can't pay right now.

DEVELOPER:  Look, Now it's my turn to be sorry, because I'm getting a little angry here - that's what happens when I'm insulted.  

DUMB GUY:  I didn't want to make you angry.

DEVELOPER:   Well, then take them, these seeds by the way, harvest really, really quickly, so you're gonna wanna be back here in 2 hours with $60.

DUMB GUY:  And...

DEVELOPER:  Oh,  half of that will go to those..er...unfortunate people.

DUMB guy:  No, no, my question was, how much pretend money will these seeds yield?

DEVELOPER:  Oh, it'll be worth your while.




The End

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