How to Decorate a Party Using Only Pineapples & Lincoln Logs

Are you having a party? Are you short on decorations? Well, dig out that old box of Lincoln Logs and rummage in your fridge for a pineapple or two, because you are about to wow your guests with some seriously creative (and festive) celebration decoration.

1. Collect all your materials. Acquire as many boxes of Lincoln Logs as you can, and buy, borrow, or lease at least 3 pineapples.

2. Furniture is fabulous. Never forget that a well-placed side table or chaise is rarely under-appreciated. Using your Lincoln Logs, construct a large rectangular house-like structure and turn it on its side. Now you have a functional table/display cube to allow guests to rest their pineapple smoothies AND admire the pineapple you've placed in the cavity.

3. Never go Naked. Tablecloths and placemats are a must! Peel and core two pineapples, and use the flattened-out peel to construct table linens. Sew two skins together, allowing a 1/4" seam allowance on either side, and spread on your table to provide a perfectly spiny decoration.

4. Hungry Guests Break Things. If you don't feel like hiding the rococo statues, always have food on hand. Pineapples are perfect for this (Lincoln Logs can be used too, but this reminds us that Poisoned and Sick Guests Sue People, which is possibly worse). Slice up a few chunks of pineapple and place them in a home-made Lincoln Log bowl, constructed similarly to the table/display cube from step 1.

5. It's a Party, Not a Funeral. You'll need festive music! Try taking two Lincoln Logs and beating them rhythmically against the green, spiky stem of a pineapple. You'll add instant afrobeat appeal to your party.

6. What's a Cake Without Icing? Place pineapple tops strategically, as centerpieces, party hats, garlands, finials, and even mistletoe! If you're Pineapple-And-Lincoln-Logging a wedding, try a pineapple top in place of a traditional (and boring) bride and groom topper on the wedding cake.

Just 6 easy steps, and you've elevated your party from seedy to Swank and Swish! For more helpful tips, check out the complete guide to last minute party decoration, Band-Aid Bouquets, and other party solutions, available from Random Celebration Publishing.

The End

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