Sam finally pulled away almost three minutes later when the timer started going off, signaling that the cookies needed to be checked on. I was a little dizzy, and couldn't think quite clearly.
"Sam," I began, but forgot what I was going to say. He didn't say anything, but just kissed me again; this one was much shorter and only lasted for a second. He got up and checked on the cookies for me. I was bewildered, and couldn't move.
"They're not ready yet," he announced. How could he be so calm? My own heart was racing, and my hands were shaking. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins.
He sat down next to me on the couch again, but I was lost in thought. He gripped my shoulders in both hands and moved to look me in the eyes. "Nikki?" I nodded. A flicker of curiosity ignited, and I leaned in and kissed him again.
I could feel the gentle smile on his lips, the warmth of his embrace. It was the best feeling in the world, and I never wanted it to stop. But sadly, my conscience had regrown, and a painful memory twisted the moment into an agonizing torture.
I pushed him away and got up, tears stinging my eyes. "What about Amber?" I shouted. Sam was taken aback, and then he seemed to recall that he had a girlfriend.
"What if I brake up with her?" He asked. I shook my head.
"No! That's what Gill said too! Sam, you are NOT turning into another Gill! I can't handle that again!" I sat back down again.
"I'm nothing like that jerk, Nikki," Sam argued.
"I know. It's just..." I let the sentence drop.
"It's just what? What do you want me to do, Nikki? I'll do it." The passion in his voice tore me apart. I began crying and hugged my knees to my chest. "What do you want me to do?"
Sam was leaning over me. He put one hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Tell me what to do," he whispered.
"You're leaning on my wrist. It hurts." I forced myself to stop crying. My wrist didn't really hurt, I just didn't want Sam so close anymore. He backed away, the hurt in his eyes clear now.
"Just don't be like him," I said. I got up off my couch and went to my room, making it clear that Sam should go home now, and not out my window. I drew my curtains shut, which was rare. I threw myself on my bed and closed my eyes, wondering why I couldn't have just let him kiss me and had a happy night.
Seeing Amber the next day was hell. I debated whether or not I should tell her, and in the end decided to go with not. Sam sat between the two of us at lunch, which was miserable. I was quiet and wouldn't say a word to anyone, and Sam was much the same way. Guilt drove through my heart like a wooden stake.
Amber prattled on about how her parents were out of town for a few days, and she forgot to tell her cousin that she needed a ride, so I invited her back to my place after school. She was grateful, but I felt stupid. What the heck was wrong with me?
Sam gave me a pointed look, but I just shrugged.
The rest of the day, I didn't say a word to anybody. One of my teachers called on me, and I just shook my head, glaring at the floor. They tried to get me to answer, but I wasn't saying a word, so I stood up and went to the office before she could actually send me there.
The secretary looked at me quizzically, and pointed at me to sit down. She hung up her phone, and was about to ask me something when the phone rang again. A secretary's job was never done.
"That call was about you," she said when she hung up once more. I shrugged.
Mrs. Ghersey had short, dark brown hair. She was fairly young, but she'd aged over the years. Her deep brown eyes bore through mine, and I thought to myself two things. Firstly, she was the kind of woman any kid would be lucky to have as a grandma. Secondly, I never want to be a secretary.
"She called on me to answer a question, but I'm just... I haven't been able to say a word all day. And this is the most I've said since yesterday evening. I've been thinking so much about what I'm going to do about... my predicament" I wasn't sure what else to call it. I fell short and dropped the rest of the mini speech I'd planned out.
The phone rang again and she held up her index finger, the universal sign for "One moment, dear."
"I didn't need to call her on the P.A. System. She's already here. Got here before you'd even called, Marisa. Yes, I will. Mhm, okay. Don't worry, she will be punished for her outbreak. Yes, Marisa, I know. But I'm very busy down here, I have another call, and I can't waste too much time taking care of your students. Bye now." She slammed the phone down, and I realized that even other staff members didn't like Mrs. Bhomke. I smiled on the inside.
"I understand why you wouldn't answer the question, but you should know that simply walking out of the class room without a pass is not tolerated. Now, if Mrs. Bhomke hadn't been so rude, I would send you to speak with the assistant principle. So I'm going to break you a deal. You never do it again, and this whole little ordeal will disappear. Okay?" Mrs. Ghersey looked at me, waiting for my consent.
"Okay." I nodded, meeting her steady gaze. The phone rang again, and before she answered it, she told me this conversation was between the two of us, and that I should wait here until the bell rings.