1) When trying to make custard stick to the ceiling, make sure you are wearing a helmet. It can get messy.
2) Do NOT put eggs in the microwave. They will explode.
3)Do NOT put a baked beans tin in the microwave. The microwave will explode.
4)When in Egypt, accept a minimum of three donkeys and fifty five camels for a marriage offer.
5)Don't watch your back. It's your front you should be worried about.
6)If your dinner is alive, catch it before it escapes.
7)Tree branches are tricky things. Insure they are strong enough to support your weight before you sit on them. Results may vary.
8)Don't eat yellow snow.