1) Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Ask me stupid questions and I'll give you a long and insulting answer
2) Gossiping is okay so long as you'd be willing to say it the person's face.*
3) Revenge is best served cold but if you try to eat it frozen you'll just break your teeth.
4) If you can't think of a really good reason not to do something that's all the reason you need.
5) You totally can judge a book by its cover.**
6) Never give an Indian arm burn to a person with leprosy.
7) A good friend is hard to find but evil henchmen are easy to find.
8) Do unto others as they would do unto you is a great excuse for violence.
9) Just because you have a large vocabulary doesn't mean you need to use it.
10) If you choose to use repetative meaningless phrases like "That's what she said..." than know what she's really saying is what a loser you are.
*Saying it loud enough for them to hear or in a language they can understand is optional
**Providing it is actually a book and not a metaphor for people