A Few g2's Rules of Thumb

First Rule of Robots- They will always turn on you.

First Rule of Chimpanzees- See First Rule of Robots

First Rule of Robo-Chimps- Three simple words: You.  Are.  Screwed.

First Rule of Animals- Nothing good has more than four legs or less than two.

Second Rule of Animals- Nothing good lives in a cave.

Third Rule of Animals- Nearly everything in the ocean will sting you.


- Never hold ice cubes until they melt in your hands, and then try to play a piano.  It just doesn't work.

- If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

- If you are a pianist, and you see that a classical station is playing a "Piano Trio/Quartet/Quintet," don't get too excited; it usually never is three/four/five pianos playing at once.  -sighs-

- Whatever you do, no matter how curious you are, if you find yourself in one of those dark alleyways or ominous hallways, do not look around that corner.

- "When in doubt, look intelligent." ~Garrison Keillor

The End

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