Rules for smokers

  1. Don't tell someone you're trying to quit to shut them up. They're going to ask if you really quit every single time they meet you after that.
  2. Above rule does not apply to mother and spouse.
  3. If the smoke gets in your eyes when you're lighting up, its okay to squint, curse and rub your eyes.
  4. Don't be intimidated by people who visibly disapprove of you smoking in a public place. They're probably wife beaters, shoplifters, child molesters or evil bosses in their own lives, so you're even.
  5. Don't light your cigarette at the wrong end!
  6. If you can light a cigarette with a matchstick in a windy place, you've arrived!
  7. Smoke with your morning coffee, but not after dinner. Seriously.
  8. Don't encourage non-smokers to smoke. No one deserves nicotine unless they choose it. 
  9. Don't smoke around children. They REALLY don't need it. 
  10. If you discover that your young adult son/daughter is a smoker as well, take them for a walk, have a smoke together and share your first time smoking stories. You won't be able to stop them from smoking anyway, and doing this will bring you closer to them.
The End

65 comments about this story Feed