Rule the Third

Rule #17: you will always be better than someone at something*

Rule #17.1: someone will always be better than you at something**

Rule #18: having a soundtrack to your life would make life terribly predictable, as the music would match or foreshadow every scene

Rule #19: both the world and your head are round, and the similarities probably don't end there. figure it out.

Rule #20: moving to a new timezone does count as time-travel, and can be bragged about to friends, family, and potential employers.

Rule #21: anything can be made into a skill by placing the word "skills" after it. common examples are communication skills, word processing skills, and customer service skills. less common examples are lettuce skills, twitching skills, and coat rack skills.

Rule #22: embroidering, silk screening, fabric painting, permanent marker-ing, or bedazzling your name onto a piece of clothing does not make it brand name.

Rule #22.1: in the cases outlined above, the described articles of clothing may be passable as designer.

Rule #22.1.2: after disembarking a plane, it is acceptable to say your clothing is "fresh off the runway."***

Rule #23:  it is rude to vocally disagree with someone over the colour of a shirt, as every individual is entitled to their own personal beliefs. the rule does not apply if either party has sufficient scientific evidence to prove their theory.

Rule #24: you can teach an old dog new tricks.†

Rule #24.1: you can teach a new dog old tricks.††

Rule #25: against all temporal logic, procrastination occurs at a higher rate when there is less time to do it.

 

* unless you are the worst at everything

** unless you are the best at everything

*** provided your plane has landed on a runway, and not a mountain side, river, abandoned field, highway, etc

† provided that said dog has sufficient processing speed

†† provided that said dog is backwards compatible

The End

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