Rule #1: Nobody plays by the rules. But whacking someone upside the head with the rulebook tends to get the point across.
Rule #2: Whatever you do in life, have a well-worded obituary.
Rule #3: A bird in the hand is probably dead.
Rule #4: If all was fair in love in war, Odysseus might have made it home for supper.*
Rule #5: Never use the sands of time as a litter box.
Rule #6: You can fool an honest man, they just tend to call the police on it more.
Rule #7: Thinking outside the box is what gets people buried in them.
Rule #8: No one ever forgets where they buried the hatchet.
Rule #9: Life isn't for everyone.
*And that priest who thought there was something fishy about a giant wooden horse wouldn't have been eaten by snakes.