Dragging the ninja into the local town square, he began yelling to attract attention.
"Friends! Fellow townsmen!" He began, once there was a reasonably large crowd gathered in front of him. "I have caught this-"
"HEY!" One of the townsmen said. "You're that guy who stole the lady's cane!
"It was for the greater good," Jack argued. "Without it, I would not have been able to apprehend this yellow fiend!" Jack pointed at the still unconscious ninja.
"Yellow fiend? What are you talking about? YOU'RE yellow!"
"I am not!" Jack yelled back, insulted.
"Yes you are, you're Chinese!"
"I'll have you know that us Chinese are a nobler shade of-"
"Let's get him, guys!" The townsmen surged forward, infuriated at this racist criminal who apparently went around stealing from little old ladies.
Wow, Jack thought, touched. These people want to congratulate me on catching that Japanese guy. Then he saw the pitchforks and torches the mob had conjured out of thin air. Uh oh. Pitchforks and torches, the classic angry mob weapon. Then again, they might be planning on volunteering to farm for me and, erm, set things on fire for me.
"Come on, we'll kill him!"
Or maybe not. Jack looked around for an exit, seriously regretting his decision to attract everyone in town. Hmm, a good time to demonstrate my unrealistic agility. Jack leaped into the air, landing on the head of one of the townsmen. He jumped from head to head until he reached the end of the crowd, where he found a conveniently placed apartment building.
It was only five floors high, so Jack climbed onto the metal pipes on the side of the building and reached the roof quickly.
"Give up! I have the high ground!" Jack called out to the people below, spreading his arms wide for dramatic effect.
The elevator doors behind Jack slid open. Five men were inside, all holding pitchforks.
"I never get to use that line properly," Jack said, annoyed.