I should probably insert something witty here.
Jack had more to worry about than creepy trees or angry ninjas. He failed to take into account of the spontaneously spawning wormholes, into one of which he fell.
Through physical impossibilities, Jack came out of the other end of the wormhole, intact, and in his house. He looked around, and the first thing that came to mind was to take a shower and to get into a fresh change of clothes. During the shower however, Jack was visited by an unknown force which, years later, he would only describe as the Roti Channi.
"You are here," said the Roti Channi, its physical body not visible to Jack.
"Erm, yes, I guess I am," he replied, feeling scared and amazed at the same time. Luckily, he always wore a swimsuit when he showered. "It's pretty impossible, but yeah, I'm here,"
"It is not impossible. It is I'M possible!" said the Roti Channi, its voice booming in Jacks mind.
"Erm, o-" Jack wasn't given the chance to finish his sentence.
"Do not interrupt me, inferior being! I am the Roti Channi, and I am superior to you in all ways, including high speed internet!" the Roti Channi interrupted. "You should be thankful I am here to deliver to you, information. Information which, used correctly, can help you defeat the ninja,"
"Oh, really? Cool!" said Jack, all sense of fear gone. This unknown entity, whoever or whatever it may be, was rapidly gaining his affection.
"That is all, use this information wisely," was all the Roti Channi said, before departing.
And the Roti Channi departed in style. Jack, suddenly bathed, and in a fresh change of clothes, found himself on his bed. In front of his bed was a table, on which was a joke book and a piece of roti canai, food of Indian origins. Above the roti canai, in bright neon lights, was a sign saying 'IMPORTANT INFORMATION'. Realization hit Jack.
"I should read that joke book!" he mused aloud.
An hour later, Jack had memorized the whole book. As soon as he set it down on the table, his phone rang. Jumping off his bed, Jack skipped over like a little girl to his phone and picked it up.
"Jack here!" he said, with more than just a little cheer in his voice.
"I am coming for you!" said the person at the other end of the phone, a person with a little more than a heavy Japanese accent to it.
At that moment, Jack knew he should have finished off the ninja.