A brief story about a girl's decent into madness.
Mother died today. The lurid news hit me hard, and at that moment I wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole. I had seen this coming, we all had, but I had never accepted the fact that Mother had fallen into a state of decadence. The doctors had done all they could to ameliorate her, but the cancer had gotten so bad that they could no longer do anything to help her.
Nothing seemed real. I had been callow when it came to my mother’s sickness, and now the cold, hard truth stung like ice. My mother had been an intrinsic part of my life, and now it felt as though there was a hole in my heart.
I was driven home. My mind was empty of thought, and my entire body felt numb and lifeless. The jaded car pulled into the driveway, and I ran up to room, closing the door behind. I flopped myself down on the bed and cried my eyes out.
My whole family came by that afternoon, and they did all they could to assuage my pain and grief, but I knew deep down that a millennium could pass I still would not be happy; I would never be happy again. It was from that day on that my life changed dramatically. Every day was terrible, and my life slowly changed into a nightmare. It was as if the whole world turned against me. I grew to hate school, because all of my friends became petulant and was annoyed by my grief; I depended on them and needed their help, but they only turned me away. The days only got worse. My teachers turned stringent and blamed me for everything I did or didn’t do; they couldn’t see how much pain I was in.
Eventually, I grew to hate everyone. I soon began to surmise that they all were laughing at my suffering and snickered every time I cried over the memory of Mother. I couldn’t stand seeing their unctuous faces every time I walked into school. My anger and grief began to permeate throughout my entire being, and I soon began to lose myself.
I started having nightmares in which I would be chased by hideous monsters that intended to devour me. The beasts would snarl and attack me with ugly words, and in their voices I would hear everyone I knew: my family, my friends, my teachers. I began to lose sleep; I was too afraid to close my eyes.
Would the nightmare ever end?
I woke up this morning and did my usual routine: ate breakfast, got dressed and brushed my teeth. As I waited at the bus stop, I noticed a puddle at the curb, and as I stared at my reflection, I came to realize how foolish I was. Five months had passed since Mother’s death, and it took me until now to realize that I had elicited a monster from within me. My family and friends had done everything they could to help me, but I had refused them and only made things worse for myself. I had blamed everyone for what I had lost. Now I’m constantly in a state of lassitude, and I’m suffering for my foolishness.
I think it’s about time I transcend the nightmare within me.