As we continued walking we joked non-stop, that was the best part of our friendship, we could make personal comments and we alway's knew they were total jokes.
We walked into the school grounds and saw Jake and Grace eating each other’s faces on the benches under the huge Elm that was in the center of the grounds.
“Guys, you saw each other 5 hours ago, and had fun by the sounds of it too, yet here you are, tonging like it’s the last time you’ll ever see each other… Not even waiting to greet us, now I am hurt man, I really am cut up”. I nodded in pretend agreement with K's statement and badly faked looking downcast and sad. He just told us told us to harden the fuck up.
“We sure as hell wouldn’t be pashing if it was the last time we would ever see each other”. Jake said with a wink and hit K in the arm. We laughed in unison and took our girlfriends arms as we headed off to our lockers.
We took our time while we walked to the lockers. As the need to get their before the bell-influenced-rush of “OMG, we might be late!” created a rush of its own. We arrived to the usual scrabble of bodies all trying to get to their stuff before they were late for home-class, the nerds always got in 1st, eager to start crowding their craniums with new knowledge. The Cheerleading squad was next, the sea of bodies parted in their godly (or in this case goddessly) presence. The preppy, popular kids were next and the Jocks quickly followed suit trying to muscle each other out, hitting each other and trying to flex their muscles to attract easy chicks.
All the while we 6 all just waited till there was enough space to breath. We got our books as the bell rang for the 2nd time, alerting us to the fact that we were now late, as, I have to admit, was usually the case. I high-fived Kahden who high-fived Jake. The girls rolled their eyes and told us to hurry up, which we did; our role call teacher was a complete bitch, and anyone in her bad books regretted it a lot, and quickly.
As we walked into the room, we realized that there were 6 brand new entries in her bad book as we were greeted by her screech.
“Late again, you 6, I see, that’ll be detention at 1st break! Gum duty, I think. First day back and already… tsk tsk tsk, what ARE we going to do with you”? She said in a voice that reminded me alarmingly of my Aunty Tess… Then again, Aunty Tess was dead… I wondered what this said on my subconscious thoughts about Mrs. Hendry.
We all rolled our eyes at the thought of yet ANOTHER detention from the back row, and waited till the bell went so we could go. “Physics next” K said in a whisper; talking in class was worse than being late.
“I know, I heard we were learning about the friction caused by two objects rapidly moving against each other today.” At the word friction, he nudged Jake and raised his eyebrows.
“Well, there would be less friction of he used lube” I quickly put in before anyone else could say it.
The girls all laughed at this and Grace said, still giggling.
“Don’t say that to Mr. Saunders, all the blood in his body would rush to his cheeks.”
“ALL, the blood? Well, that solves the problem, because then he wouldn’t need to worry about friction or lube” said my very dirty minded girlfriend. (Then again, I guess we were all dirty minded.)
The bell rang, which we were grateful for, as Mrs. Hendry’s voice had just started up again in answer to a student’s question, we shuffled off as quickly as possible in the hope that she wouldn’t see us and would forget about the gum duty. (During which you were given a separate classroom each and you had to scrape all the gum off the bottom of the desks, it was renowned as the worst possible punishment… especially the newer, still sticky pieces, the other stuff just chiseled off fairly well.)
As much as we all actually loved school in general, the best thing about it was the fact that we had every subject together. I don’t know if it was chance or if the office ladies saw we were best mates and deliberately put us together, even in the electives we chose. Either way, we had all been together since the start of high school. From the first role call we immediately meshed well together, made each other laugh, and generally had a good time. The next lesson after that we saw we had every class together and since then every class has consisted of great memories and fun times which have often resulted many, many detentions together.
Emma and I had been going out since the 2nd day of secondary school, we were friends immediately, as we were with the other people in our group, but we had a special spark, I caught her looking at me on the second day and the lunch after that lesson, we kind of waited behind in the classroom, without saying anything to each other, and, well, I had planned to ask her to the movies, or bowling or something, but instead kissed her right on the lips. I didn’t even know what my body was doing, but hey, she wasn’t complaining at least. Afterwards I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies that weekend. “It’s a date.” She said in that sexy voice of hers (yes, even in grade 8, it was sexy). She was so (…yes I’m going to be a total cliché here…) perfect. She really was, (…yes I’m going to be male here) she was drop dead gorgeous: Brown hair that always had wisps on her forehead no matter how hard she tried to keep it in a style or brushed back in a ponytail, greeny blue eyes, not aqua though, they seemed to actually change, depending on her mood. She was almost 10cm shorter than me which lead to many remarks about me dating a primary-schooler, even though the kids that all said it were in many of the same classes as her, we drew only one conclusion from the heinous remarks: they were just jealous wankers. She was (…yes im going to be a total cliché again…) kind, caring, smart, and funny. But more than all that: we seemed to share a connection. It’s because were similar in so many ways I think, we pretty much like all the same food, same favorite colors, television shows and movie genres, same books… everything really. But we were like those couples you see on television who always finish each other’s sentences. It was amazing simply being in her presence, the time I spent with her was almost the only time I truly valued in my life.
By the end of my reminiscences on times past and some of the best times I can ever remember had I had already missed 3 paragraphs on Theoretical Wormhole Physics, I was abit miffed, as I loved space-time anomalies. Jake leant over to me and K and whispered “do you think if you where facing a black hole right, and you started to stretch like you do, would you have a 19 km dick?” We all sniggered a lot, which drew the attention of the teacher Mr. Saunders.
“I’m sure that was incredibly funny Jake, would you like to offer your insights on Wormholes to the class?” He said in that teacher-being-a-smart-ass kind of way.
“No Mr. S, sorry Mr. S, I won’t speak again.” He said sucking right up, presumably, not wanting both breaks to be taken up with Gum Duty.
“Good. Well, see that you don’t or it’s Gum Duty.”
By the time I had caught up with all the work on the board the bell went. The best thing about this school was: if you were late, the punishment was strict, but as soon as the bell went, you went. None of this “waiting for the teacher, for possibly 5 minutes into lunch and wasting time” bullshit.
The bell went and we packed up, we shuffled off to 2nd lesson; HRE, and, as usual were late, again.
“Sorry Mr. Helks, we forgot our books” Bella piped in to cover us.
“All six of you was it? Hmmmm.” He said in his 'spectacles and pipe, slippers and glass of port, old man by the fire, reading a mysterious book' kind of way.
None of us said anything to his remark and we got our seats up the back row. The class settled down and we got right into the lesson.
It was a sex ed lesson. As we got handouts to fill in, he continued with other work, drawing a penis on the board, and if I was being totally honest with you, I only assumed it was a penis, it looked more like an animal tail of some kind. And don’t even ask me to compare his version of a vagina to anything on THIS planet.
It was an interesting class, but no-one learnt much of anything, nothing was new, but it was still cool. It isn’t every class you get to say vagina, penis, tits, clitoris and sex all in one lesson, but it was somewhat of a relief when the bell rang, Mr. H’s voice was one that could either enrapture you or send you to sleep, and I think today we were all in a drowsier mood when we left than when we had come in.