Bathroom fiascos and faces gangbanged by CrayolaMature

“What’s your first lesson?” Brian asked after homeroom as everybody was getting ready to leave. Damn, I really had to get rid of him.

“Biology,” I answered after a brief glance at my schedule.

“That’s too bad, I have Drama now. Maybe I’ll see you again for break?” he asked with that smile that threatened to give me a hormone overload. I nodded in agreement. Brian walked me to Bio then left after giving me that smile that could have left me swooning if I was the swooning g type.

I got inside and headed for the back. I took a seat next to a brunette who I thought I could really like by the looks of it despite my proclaimed hatred of brunettes that morning.

“So you’re the sex shock I’ve been hearing about all morning?” she smiled.

“Who else?” I smiled not knowing yet whether to recruit her on the friends list or not.

“Cocky, I like it. I think we might be friends. I’m Sidney, you can call me Sid,” she introduced herself.


“Since we’re gonna be friends I’ll just be honest with you, that’s one killer bra you got there and if you don’t tell me where you got it it might just mysteriously disappear,” she warned me.

I laughed. I was beginning to seriously like this girl.

“You really like it?” I asked.

“You’re kidding right? My friends wouldn’t shut up about your rack all through homeroom.”

My face must have displayed my horror and disgust because Sid burst out laughing.

“Geez chill ma, they are guys, you should see the look on your face. So anything you want to know new girl? Cause I just might be the girl to hook you up,” she said making me fall more and more in like with her.

“You guys got cheerleading here?” I asked.  I had been captain of my cheerleading squad back home and was hoping to get a spot here. There was no question about my dancing skills but I knew from experience how some lil queen bee’s wanted to complicate the whole process.

The teacher got in then and Sid mouthed later. Bio was fairly boring, not that I was paying much attention. Why would I when the class was totally full of really bangable guys. While I was doing my hunk shopping, Sid kept glancing at her phone screen and cursing.

“I’m gonna toss this thing at someone if I receive one more text.”

I raised a well trimmed eyebrow in question.

“People keep flooding my inbox asking for your number and I’ve just about reached my end point.”

“Miss Canavan is there anything you’d like to share with the rest of the class.”

Sid just rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her phone. I was seriously liking this girl. After the period everyone scrapped their chairs back in typical teenage way, not even bothering to give the poor woman a chance to conclude her lesson, not that I sympathised with her or anything. Sid and I exchanged schedules. We shared first period Bio, fourth period Calculus and tenth period French. Great.

“I’ll save you a seat in the cafeteria.”

I had a free period after Bio so I decided to go touch up my make-up, not my first option. I would have really liked to ditch but that could have been dumb seeing I really had nowhere to go. On my way to the nearest girls’ room I received a call from the last person I wanted to hear fro, well after my mom anywhere.

“Dad,” I said gruffly not bothering to mask my annoyance. He had lost any rights and privileges of me pretending to be nice to him when he chucked me out of his precious mansion.

“Hello sweetie, how is everything?”

“And by that I guess you mean if I have been going around embarrassing you and getting press attention?”


“Well don’t worry dad. I haven’t smoked, drunk or got high. I didn’t even get a speed ticket this morning. Oh but that’s actually because you took all my cars isn’t it?” I injected as much sarcasm as possible into my words.

“Honey I told you your cars are yours as soon as you learn to behave.”

“I behave,” I gritted. He knew I loved my wheels and was seriously crippling me right now.

“One week; one week without a call from your school and I’ll send Dames with one of your cars.”

“I should report you for child abuse,” I said half-serious with a sigh knowing there was no way of getting around him. Unluckily for me I couldn’t pull the cute card; I had lost all adorableness when I turned into a teenage rebel.

“Come on honey, thousands of people survive without cars, don’t be a child.”

How dare he?

“I’m being a child?” I exclaimed incredulously.

“Now don’t go getting all offended on me. You know what to do if you want your car.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. Now get off the phone and go back to class before one of your teachers call me. Wouldn’t want that now would we?”

“I really really hate you.”

I hung up and walked into the bathroom plotting ways of embarrassing my dad for sending me to this stupid town to live with his stupid ex-wife and learn at a stupid school. The moment I opened the door my nostrils were attacked by a cheap imitation of J.Lo’s Glow in the dark. Really, it was as if it had been used as an air freshener or something with the way it saturated the air. There were three girls in the room and I had a feeling I’d just stumbled upon Brooke’s very own Queen Bee, come on, I had done this thirteen times. I knew some clichés just never went away.

“Get out,” came the crisp command.

“Excuse me?” I turned to face the dark haired girl applying some grotesque green lipstick. I wondered if perhaps she had her dates mixed and thought today was Halloween. She was beautiful, that I couldn’t deny no matter what my feelings about her lipstick were. She was slender and tall and by the easy grace she wore like second skin I could guess that she was a dancer. She was ok figure and facial wise but everything about her just screamed too wannabe. She tried too hard which made me come to the conclusion that she was indeed the head cheerleader.

She turned as if surprised that I had actually dared to talk back to her. Her fashion and cologne sense may be scary but there was no way I was gonna back away from this bitch. The second she laid her eyes on me the thin line of her lips turned into a sick smile. It was an expression I remembered seeing on Nat Geo when a lion got ready to pounce.

“I take it you’re the new girl.”

And I take it you’re the worst fashion disaster that ever walked; I wanted to say but decided to keep my thoughts which may not be so socially acceptable to myself. (See dad? I’m following all your stupid rules about manners and etiquette. You better put my Masserrati on the next flight.)For now. After all she had not yet done anything to offend me, except of course talking to me like her Chihuahua a few seconds ago. But that will be dealt with later. I also made a mental note to take a pic of her next time my Geo teacher asked me to make a scrap book of natural disasters.

“It’s actually Jordan,” I replied with an equally fake smile.

“Brittany. The girls are Olive and Amber,” she introduced and the two insults to my hair colour flipped their blonde hair respectively as she said their names. The door opened but closed at once when the little red-head who peeked inside spotted Bitchany, sorry I mean Brittany. The action confirmed my suspicions of earlier on; that no one was allowed in the bathroom when Her Royal-pain-in-the-derriere was using it.

“I hear you were all over Brian today,” she said and I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. As if poster boy could handle me. He was cute and all but I was too much woman for him. He would be fun for a couple of days but that would be it, not that I did long-term anyway. What was the fun in that?

“He’s cute,” I said just to annoy her.

“He’s the quarterback.”


“The football team is restricted to the cheerleaders.”

Just when I thought the girl couldn’t get more desperate.

“He didn’t seem to think it was a problem but if it bothers you that much then I’ll come for rehearsals?”

I  didn’t give a flying crap if it bothered her or not but I wanted to join the squad. Cheerleading was a big part of my life. It gave me a certain kind of peace and freedom that I could get nowhere else.

“Smooth but no. I don’t want you on my squad. I only take the best and sluts who go around naked just to get guys’ attention fall out of that category.”

Slut? That was the best she had? I had heard the word so many times that it no longer bothered me. Not since I discovered it usually came from jealous bitches who dug my look but were to insecure to try it themselves and could not control their boyfriends when they came after me. That was my ultimate sin: being hot enough that no guy thought his girl was the it thing for him after seeing me.

“This is coming from the girl whose face looks like it was gangbanged by Crayola?” I asked mildly. Seriously, her make-up looked like it had been applied by a shotgun.

“Excuse me?”

“Look,” I said with a tired extremely bored sigh, “if I wanted to listen to your shit I’d just stick my head up your ass but I don’t so move out of my way. This was supposed to be a peaceful bathroom session and your face is giving me constipation.”

I took advantage of her stunned expression and pushed her aside as I move to the mirror. The two sidekicks who had been silent during the whole exchange gasped when I took out my real Marc Jacobs eye shadows.

Oops, I forgot, I was supposed to keep a low profile. Using eye shadows that cost more than most people’s outfits for an entire week violated that but who cared? My dad had pissed me off, this was compensation.

“You’re new so I’ll let that slide but believe me when I say bitch you don’t wanna mess with me. Let’s go girls.”

Peace washed over me with the new silence as Bitchany and her lapdogs left the room and I relished in it. I refreshed my make-up and contemplated ditching again but stopped myself, I really needed my car.

The End

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