In The MorningMature

Monday morning came and I was rudely awoken by my alarm screaming in my ear to “get up you lazy bloody sod” it was recorded by my mother when she realized that my favorite playlist didn’t exactly help me 'get up ‘n’ go', on the contrary, it made me reach for my bass and want to chuck a sickie.

By the time I was awake enough to wonder why my arm was taking so long to respond (I was laying on it) I had also realize that it was a terribly bad idea to go out drinking on a Sunday night. I made a mental note right then and there to not do it again, but I knew as well that it was foolish, I never listened to myself. Bleary eyed I sat up and quickly shut my eyes again as I was blinded by the sunlight streaming in from my bedroom window. I ventured another glance and saw my tree waving in the cool breeze. I smiled as I remembered the day I planted it: it was my 5th birthday. It was already 2 years old, and as tall as me, when mom brought it back from work, her boss had given it to her as a birthday present for me. We planted it that day and it grew like crazy from there. It was up to my bedroom window on the 2nd floor, by my 10th birthday and safely climbable by my 12th. Many nights I had silently thanked it for helping me to sneak off to my mates or girlfriends house.

I heard the twitter of early morning bird conversations in the background as I reminisced on those nights: descending my tree to rendezvous with my mates, after mum thought I was asleep; drinking, making out with my beautiful girlfriend, Emma, then back up the tree and to bed for a couple of hours before school.


I went downstairs for a cup of coffee. I stumbled down the hall and glared at the menacing stairs, as I slowly descended, one stair at a time, careful not to fall in my almost-awake-but-still-mainly-asleep state, I tried to remember what I was drinking last night: what was the old remedy called? “Hair of the rabbit...or cat” or something like that. Anything, to get rid of this hangover.

I poured my cup of coffee, added a lot of milk to bring the temperature down and got a shot of bourbon from the cupboard (I hoped dad wouldn’t miss one shot. I also hoped that the old shot-of-what-you-were-drinking-that-night-the-next-morning “hair of the rabbit” theory was merely based on the intake of alcohol of some kind, and that it didn’t actually matter specifically what alcohol you drank). It was a close thing too, because as soon as I put the bottle in the cupboard, I heard my dad’s footsteps down the stairs, he was always the first up out of my parents, he started work at 8. He worked as a seller/promoter/marketer of artists to authors and publishing companies to paint their book covers. He was like an agent as well, in the same sense that he tried to get the best deal for his clients, he looked around and bargained for their work, and he was extremely good at what he did.


After my coffee, run and workout, shower and cornflakes, I was ready and rearing for the first day of the first term back at school. I fed the useless cat of ours before I left. She just slept all day, she barely opened an eyelid when you patted her, and only really got up to chase the sun she was lying in or to rub against our legs as if to say “Oi you, human type person, I need sustenance… Not that I really do much that requires energy… but that’s beside the point… FEEED MEEEE”.


As I started to walk down the road I was grateful for my jacket that hugged me tightly. I plugged the earphones of my IPod in and switched it to shuffle.
I was distracted by Nicklback as I turned the corner to school I was caught completely unawares by my girlfriend who jumped out and scared the shit out of me. As I feel and Nicklback quickly faded as the earplugs fell out I heard her laughing hysterically, it was funny I suppose, when I see it from her shoes. I hugged her and kissed her good morning, despite the fact that I had seen her not 4 hour ago. I sniffed her hair (which was like a drug, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t find the conditioner she said she used).

“Did you just sniff my hair again”?

“Maybe I did” I answered sheepishly.

“Oh, god, you really like it don’t you”?

“Totally babe! I love it muchly! It’s like, freaking awesome, like my nose has just had an injection of ecstasy.” This made her laugh. (That was my thing: if something tasted good my mouth was “on ecstasy”, if a song sounded awesome it had just had “consensual sex with my ears, which just had multiple orgasms”.)

I kissed her again, more passionately and put my hand on her ass and gently squeezed it.

“Know what I’m thinking of?” I asked seductively

“Well, by the feel of how... 'happy' you are, probably me naked?”

“Mmhmm, I’m thinking about last night, man, that was awesome, I think I counted 3 or 4 orgasms from you?”

“You should be so lucky; you aren’t quite that good yet… I still have a few things to teach you.” She said jokingly (…I think) as she twinned her fingers between mine and turned to walk.

“Anyway, that was totally ninja, how did you know when to jump? I could have been a total stranger, or worse some old guy, you could have given him a heart attack!” I jested.

“Magic powers of awesomeness and a black belt in ninajaness” she said proudly and took a more Karate looking stance, as she pointed to Kahden and Isabella, one of my best friends and his girl, crossing the road.

“Line of sight… I see… nice guys” I said loudly enough for K and Bella, who were halfway across the road, to hear as well.

“Nice teaming up on me guys, first day of first term and already your ganging up in me, you’ve even turned my girlfriend against me”. I jested as put my arm round Ems’ waist.

The End

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