I couldn't wake up. I couldn't move. I couldn't see, blackness smothered me. Silence deafened me. What was happening?
I heard small flickers of far off conversations, none sounding good. From what I could gather, something had gone wrong with me. Something had gone VERY wrong. Words like 'dying', 'comeback' and 'overpowering' were being repeated.
I thought back over my life. It hadn't been very long, I could have done a lot better with the time I had. But it was unchangeable now. I've always said, don't regret, just accept. I regretted all of it now. Why did my parents never arrive? My last words to them were not pleasant at all. We had been screaming at each other before I stormed out of the house to meet Mark in the club. My only annoyance about that had been I'd ruined my makeup from the shouting.
I had tonnes more annoyance about it now.
The voices started to fade, and I started to panic. Desperately trying to hold on to reality, I tried to talk. To shout. Anything. Nothing would work, my body abandoning me, shutting down. My arms wouldn't move. My legs wouldn't -
Did I just move my toe?
Elated, I tried to move it again. It wouldn't budge. Desperately, I willed myself to move. I couldn't.
The voices had faded away completely now.
I tried opening my eyes, brief flashes of red told me either a big alarm was going off or my eyes were dying too.
I didn't understand, why now? They said the overdose had gone away. I think. Was it that needle? Did it bring the chemicals back? Had it overloaded me all over again, this time to push me over the edge? Had Nurse Reed unwittingly killed me?
I felt sorry for her if she had, that kind of thing scars a person for life. If she hadn't, I wondered what HAD killed me. Long lasting drug that I didn't know I had taken? Heart attack?
The red flashes faded. The end was coming soon, any minute now.
Did they ever catch Mark? I didn't know whether I wanted them to or not. I mean sure, effectively, he's killed me. But did he mean to? Under the confidence and drugs, he was a pretty good guy. I hope this doesn't mess him up.
On the other hand, I wanted him to get arrested for this. I was going to DIE because of him. It had all started from that note. Why hadn't I thrown it away? I should have ignored him. I should have listened to my friends, who had desperately tried to warn me about him once they found out about his addiction. I really liked them. Why had I ditched them? I got caught in the moment, and now I couldn't go back.
My thoughts became fuzzy, I couldn't concentrate. Holding one thing in my head became an actual task for me. This was it. Time is up.
In my last moments, I thought of family.