(Chelsea is pulled next to the headmaster)
Headmaster (to camera and Greg): Hello Mortdale, we have just gone live, nice to see you're watching, oh hello Gregory remember how you used dumb Chelsea here last time as a human shield, well this time a little birdie tells me she knows how to feel pain, time to die I think.
Chelsea: Dye my hair.
(She is shot in the head)
Chelsea: I know, I can feel pain… I can see a light… OW THIS FUCKING HURTS, OW I… I'M DYING… I'M (She falls and dies)
Greg: CHELSEA NO!
Headmaster: One down a couple of hundred to go, get the second victim.
(Baz is pulled forwards)
Baz: I'm starving
(She is shot and killed)
Headmaster: Well there is less pressure on food resources worldwide now.
Daz: BAZ NO!
Headmaster: Silence fool! You are next!
(He is brought forwards)
(Greg begins to cry)
Headmaster: Yes give me those tears Greg, the effect it will have…
Greg: (Thinking) This is it… there all gonna die, once Daz dies that's it I'm screwed, stuck to a life with ugh… them… oh why… why… why?
Headmaster (aiming gun at Daz's head): 3…2…1…
(A pistol shot is heard, but the bullet seems to have landed in the Headmaster's hand, in pain he drops the pistol and it slides next to Greg)
Police Officer 2: NO! HOW COULD YOU EXECUTE PEOPLE!
(She fires again; this shot misses the Headmaster but breaks one of Greg's chains behind her, with his free hand Greg grabs the gun).
Headmaster: Kill her. Now.
(The Black Crestor’s enclose her, a gunshot is heard everybody freezes and turns to Greg).
Charmaine: He shot himself.
George: No he shot the Headmaster.
(Headmaster looks at Greg)
Headmaster: I felt that whizz by my shoulder Gregory, you missed.
Greg (smiling): I wasn't aiming for you.
(Silence as everyone turns to Mrs Conrad's cage, Greg's bullet has broke a hole in the thin metal bars and there is no Mrs Conrad inside, the Headmaster feels a tapping on his shoulder).
Headmaster: Oh no.
Mrs Conrad: Oh yes.
(He runs as Mrs Conrad chases him, the Black Crestor’s are distracted for a second Police Officer 2 hits the person holding her in the balls…the black Crestor star pupil… he winces and she breaks free).
Police Officer 2: NOW!
(Police Officer 1 who has been setting up an explosive device waiting for that call sets it off, the Explosion that follows knocks over all the cages and they shatter as they reach the floor, hundreds of White View students are freed).
Crestor Crew: LET’S ATTACK THE WANKERS!
Gordon: SHIT! RUN!
Thomas: No, no, more running, for once were going to fight back!
Gordon (whimpering): But there black Crestors... we don't stand a chance.
Thomas: We have too try, and I'm going too lead us into battle anyone that wants to go and cower (glares at Rhys and Gordon at this point) be my guest.
Rhys: Thomas... you've finally grown a pair guess you are a leader.
(Black Crestors approach with their knives shining)
Sarah: Yeah guys we might be motivated but seriously how the fuck do we beat them? Were unarmed and they'll kill us or imprison us...
Lucy: Thomas is right Sarah, he has realised his flaw and has overcome it, now we must use our skills and talents and work together to overcome this threat... I mean it's what my parents always tell me when times get tough, and we can't let the black Crestors walk all over us, together, we need to show that Greg can change this town! By us gaining the courage to fight back!
(Silence, everyone still looks petrified)
Lucy: Oh for... (sighs) well I guess we have Mrs Conrad on our side.
(This motivates everyone instantly with Thomas leading the way, the White View students charge forward)
Helpless TA: THIS IS WAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!
(An epic fight between them begins, the place goes into panduieoum)
(Daz breaks out of his cage)
Daz: GREG! OVER HERE!
Greg: Daz, we need to fight, to help…
(He gets no further, Mr Redwood sneaks up behind him snatches his pistol away and shoves him into the waiting van, it then begins to drive off).
Police Officer 1: THEIR TAKING HIM!
Daz: NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH!
(He grabs Police Officer 2's pistol from the floor and fires at the truck, the tires burst and the truck ends up rolling down a steep embankment)
(Fight rages on)
Police Officer 2: GREG!
Daz: Hang on I'm coming,
(Inside the van, the dazed passengers try to escape; Mr Redwood tries to restart the van)
Mr Redwood: It's -not- moving!
Miss Noel: TRY!
Mr Redwood: I- AM!
Greg: I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!
Miss Noel: Ethan knock him out!
(All the nerds converge on Greg and begin to beat him)
Ethan: Whether you like it or not… you're coming with us.
Greg: No… never
Ethan: Why not… come on man…we've been through years of shit and this is you how we are repaid? We deserve an award DAMMNIT!
Greg: I know you've been though shit but this is not the way, killing others, just so you can have what you want… no I'll never be like that.
Ethan: You're a fool Greg, a stupid fucking hillbilly!
Greg: You said a swear.
Ethan: Shows how angry I am, you inbred, brainless piece of shitty trailer trash...
Greg: I may be, but you need to stop, please you will be rewarded but not if you try like this… think about it will chavs either work or get a nice job? live a nice life? No they won't you… guys have potential.
Mr Redwood: The- van- is- starting!
Ethan: Yeah, we'll all be fine. On a desert island.
(Just then Daz fires though the van walls, with several shots the spray of bullets kills everyone in the van… expect for Greg and Ethan, Mr Redwood and Miss Noel)
Daz: GREG ARE YOU ALRITE!
(Ethan spots a pistol sliding from Mr Redwood's pocket, he scoops it up)
Mr Redwood: Give-that-back-Ethan- I-need-it!
Ethan: NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! (Holds shaking pistol to Mr Redwood and Miss Noel) you- you... promised we'd all be safe and together! AND NOW LOOK (Indicates Veronica's dead body and the other nerds) you failed me!
Greg: Just stop this y'all...!
Miss Noel: Ethan... it's okay... there is still you, me, Gregory and Mr Redwood we shall live happily together!
Greg: I won't allow it!
Mr Redwood: This-is-your-headmaster-speaking-Gregory-dare-you-disobey-me!?
Greg: Take your goddamn orders shove them up your ass cause I don't want them!
Mr Redwood: (Enraged): How-very-dare...
(He gets no further, a second spray of bullets from Daz smashes the windows and both Miss Noel and Mr Redwood are fatally wounded)
Mr Redwood: No-no-Ethan-I'm sorry...
Ethan: No... not you as well... what am i meant to do now!?
Miss Noel: U-u-u-u-u...
Miss Noel: U-Uniform (Points at his untucked shirt before she slumps and dies)
Mr Redwood: NOEL-KITTENS! -NO-NO...I-I-FAILED... (He then slumps and dies by her side)
Daz (from outside): GREG! GREG ARE YOU IN THERE!
Greg: Ethan... come on...come with me, it's not over. You can join me and my friends.
Ethan: DAMN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS! WE TRIED TO BE NICE BUT YOU KILLED ALL MY FRIENDS, FUCK THIS GREG, NOW WE'LL NEVER GO TO LIVE HAPPILY, AND I WILL AVENGE THEM BY KILLING YOU!
Greg: (panicking) NO!
Greg: JUST PUT THE GUN DOWN! AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS!
Ethan: TALK WITH YOU! (Gives an insane laugh) THAT WONT SOLVE ANYTHING! NOW DIE YOU... YOU... HOME-WRECKER!
(He dives at Ethan in the struggle Ethan fires the Pistol, it grazes Greg's shoulder, as Greg yells in pain. Ethan prepares for the killing shot on his forehead, realising it's a kill or be killed situation, and on instinct, Greg grabs Ethan's hand and twists it around so that when Ethan fires the pistol he shoots himself in the heart)
Ethan: G..greg what...have y...you done... you've killed me... you killed me!
Greg: No I-I…
Ethan: YES YOU HAVE! (Coughs violently) Guess you're not a saint after all... you're as bad as the chavs you hate so much.
Greg: I...I... didn't want things to turn out like this!
Ethan: LIAR! You... murderer
(He then dies, leaving Greg in an heavy silence)
(Daz and the Police Officers burst in by forcing the back doors of the van open)
Police Officer 1: Greg are you alright!
Greg (Beginning to cry): Guys, Daniel, I'm okay, you’re okay… I…I
(This emotional scene is cut by…)
Florence: And now to my scene!
Greg: Wait what…
(The camera cuts to Florence)
Whitney Houston song over: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! (As Florence stands in a massive white dress, she keeps messing with her hair, as Miss Lofty fans her with a clipboard, the whole scene is in fast motion and the fight behind her can clearly been seen).
(Meanwhile Mrs Conrad fights like a beast, Mr Masterbate rapes the Black Crest Children, Lucy, Dean and Elliot fight with their hands as Helpless TA stumbles around, and Jaya takes on people epically, Gordon is trampling all over the Black Crestor's by running on them by the time Greg, Daz, Terry and Kerry climb back up the embankment Mrs Conrad says the obvious…)
Mrs Conrad: THE FIGHT IS OVER!
(The White View crew stand victorious over the beaten Crestor Crew the fat red head girl is tied up with the headmaster and Black Crest’s star pupil)
Gordon: WE ACTUALLY WON (In high pitched voice) I NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD! OW MY GAWD!
Ryan: Alrite Gord fam, calm down, still no messin' with us now,us White View chavs rule supreme!
Mrs Conrad: Now the situation is controlled…
(6 hours later)
(By this point Greg has been reunited with his friends the surviving White View's are gathered by the school, as the police have finally managed to get off their arses/get into the area and control the situation Police Officer's 1 and 2 are being interviewed by Suzanne for the heroic actions which saved the day, the Headmaster and many Black Crestor's have been arrested and sent to the “overcrowded” prison in Mortdale, several interview teams and police buzz around the destroyed school as parents are reunited with children).
Daz: So Greg we did it day we?
Greg: I guess we did Daz.
Daz: I can't believe I lost Baz…
Greg: Hey come on you'll get over...
Daz: …and got a new girlfriend so quickly
Greg: What really! Who Is she?
Daz: I want you to meet her Greg this is Chaz.
Greg: Well Howdy do Chaz, (thinking) I wonder if she'll be fat, or physcopathic maybe she'll be…
Chantelle: Alrite Greg.
Daz: Ay she a beauty
Greg: Chantelle… your… your… Dating my cousin!
Chantelle: That's right, his fit, guess I'll be seeing a lot more of you Greg (Winks at him)
Greg: What… Daz she's in my class!
Greg: Don't you find that weird or…
Daz: Nah, Greg she's bang tidy can't wait to have her around can't you?
Greg: Yeah, I can't wait *Note the sarcasm*
(Police Officers 1 and 2 approach)
Daz: Well I'll leave you three to it.
(Leaves with Chantelle)
Greg: I can't thank you guys enough.
Police Officer 1: No problem.
Police Officer 2: Told ya we'd come back.
Greg: Yeah well you helped me alright; I don't know how I'll ever repay you.
Police Officer 1: Greg you need to start avodin’ physco nerds around these parts.
Police Officer 2: Sure ya don't wanna come back to Alabama Greg we do worry.
Greg: No, I need to stay, God knows what lies ahead but I need to be here for it.
Police Officer 2: Well alright then, but we’ll be back if we notice even a grain of trouble.
(They turn to leave)
Greg: Wait I don't even know y'all names.
Police Officer 2: Well I'm Kerry, he's Terry.
Greg: So Kerry and Terry, guess I know which police officers to call next time.
Terry: We'll be back Greg, I have a feeling we'll meet again.
Kerry: That's not a feeling, that's you wanting to be on TV again for saving the day.
Terry: So I enjoy the attention big deal, you should see all the lovely messages I got on that twitter site…
(They leave, Greg waves goodbye and when their gone)
Greg (bursting out laughing): Terry an fucking Kerry! God I bet they get teased at work, God what a pair of Generic names!
(In Da church and surrounding graveyard, later on in the day it's still Saturday the 17th of November)
Priest: And we mourn… the terrible losses from yesterday and today the lost souls of White-View we show you honour and respect!
Chantelle: Liar, then why were the funerals arranged in less than a day?
Priest: We live in Mortdale, I am very busy man when it comes to funerals.
Chantelle: Fair enough.
(Cut to Lily Sobbing)
Lily (to Rose's grave): Here you go Rose, I got ya roses anyhow I sold that magazine you planned on making but ya know it still did fairly well, I can't wait to report more, especially my rape…
Rhys: Well Thomas I think it's safe to say you're officially more of a man now.
Thomas (to Ahmed, Mohammed, Dev, Sanjeet and Francesco's graves) - I'm sorry I couldn't save you, but in the future I'll try to be braver, I promise to protect this squadron of nerds and try to do what is right!
(Cheers from Sarah, Rhys, Asif and Sanjay).
Caroline: I shall not miss anyone they all deserved to die.
Mrs Conrad: What a horrible thoughtless person you are Caroline.
Sarah: Does the word Hypocrite ring a bell miss?
Mrs Conrad: Say that one more time Sarah there be an extra grave in this graveyard.
Aaron: So, um yeah bye Cairon.
John: Yeah… err bye I'll miss ya.
Ryan: Yeah bye Cairon.
Gordon (bursting into tears): I LOVED YOU!
(Do I really need to tell you what follows this outburst)
Gordon: As a mate innit.
(Meanwhile at Charlie’s grave)
Chaniqua: So like bye Charlie you were like the bomb innit.
Chantelle: Yeah you were great member of da crew and will be missed.
(They wait for Charmaine to speak).
Chantelle: Oi Char.
Chantelle: Ya gonna say something about Charlie.
Charmaine: Who the fuck you on about?
Greg (to George): Wow, it's amazing to see everyone cared about each other deep down; with the expectation of Charmaine everyone seems to be missing someone.
Mr Masterbate: Oh Miss Ougar we will never get to rape children again.
George: (overhearing this) What?
Mr Masterbate: Err I will miss her, she was a great friend and were never going to teach students together again.
Mrs Conrad: How tragic *Note the Sarcasm*
Jack: So Florence, still hanging in there?
Jack: Unfortunately, I have to break the news there was no trail for us, something about having to deal with more important matters right now, I mean jeez how rude.
Florence: I know.
Jack: All these setbacks drive me up the wall.
Florence: In fact you know what hasn't killed me has made me stronger, I am stronger, and we will get through these setbacks and life in Mortdale!
Chantelle: There's a two centimetre spider over there.
Jack: Well it's a start.
Lucy: Hey Greg, George.
George: Oh hi Lucy how ya doing?
Lucy: Hey err, you know Elliot right he just asked me out!
George (secretly gutted): What? Oh that sounds great.
Lucy: I said yes, still George I still consider you my best friend, I'll see you on Monday I guess.
George (smiling): I'll see you there
(She heads back to Elliot)
Greg: Why are you smiling? Elliot just grew a backbone and finally asked her out, you’ll lose her dude.
George: Oh Greg, Greg, it will never last. Not only do I doubt there stay together for that long anyway and even if they do then…
(He points to Dean has secretly just snuck a fire escape axe into his blazer)
George… Dean will take care of Elliot.
(They all sit).
Priest: We have lost many…
(Reads the names of the dead, Baz's coffin is square and lifted by 10 big guys, after a log service, Chelsea's coffin comes in opened so people can bid her a final goodbye).
Greg: Can't believe Chelsea's gone.
George: Life goes on. Greg I told you this town was tough.
Priest: And now I shall bless the body with the sign of the holy… SHIT!
(He swears because as he was bending over to do so, Chelsea sits bolt upright the whole Church screams in shock and falls backwards in horror).
(Chelsea looks around).
Priest: How, what is this?
Chelsea: Oh hi guys from school, err, where am I?
Priest: You died!
Chelsea: Oh did I? Oh yeah I remember now, I died, but I didn't know where to go next so I came back.
George: I suppose you can say Chelsea…(Puts on Sunglasses)
George: … has a new lease on life.