MassacreMature

Act 5  

Greg: Whose there!?

(No answer) 

Greg: I'm warning you I'll do something (uncertain pause) bad. 

(Silence) 

Greg: How do you know my full name?

(Silence)  

Greg: Howdy! Can you please just answer...!

Voice: Jesus Christ, just be quiet already! 

(Gasps) 

Another Voice: Ethan how could you? 

Voice: I’m sorry Veronica but I grew frustrated.  

Greg: SHIT! BOLLOCKS! FUCK! CUNT! BITCH! WHORE! BASTARD! 

(Gasping, the strangers sound like there dying) 

Greg: I'm warnin' you folk if y'all don't tell me something this red hot minute, I'll holler and curse some more. 

Voice: Okay, Okay, Veronica give me a torch  (The small space is illuminated, it is a tiny sliver room on the other side of the room are a group of clear nerds) 

Greg: Okay so you're nerds I guess. 

Voice: I'm Ethan head of this nerd squad, and yes I am proud of the fact I am a nerd.  

Greg: Where am I? 

Ethan: I cannot say, they said you would react badly if we told you… 

Greg: Whose “They” what's going on? 

Ethan: Gregory don't you understand? We have been saved.

Greg: SAVED!? WERE LOCKED UP YOU MISFITIC MORON! Darn it I'm stratin' to sound like Mrs Conrad...

Ethan: We are safe Greg, and soon we will be that way forever.

Greg: WHO ARE YOU!?

Ethan: No need for that angry tone and that look… 

Greg: Tell me you son of a… 

Ethan: Alright! I cannot tell you what is going on, but soon you shall soon know, I can reveal that we are the Nerds of Black Crest…  

(Cut back to group) 

(There is Mrs Conrad, Mr Redwood, Miss Noel, George, Lucy, Thomas, Sanjay, Dev, Sanjeet, Asif, Francesco, Rhys, Sarah, Dean, Elliot, Aaron, Cairon, John, Ryan, Gordon, Charlie, Chaniqua, Charmaine, Chantelle, Caroline, Rose and Chelsea) 

Mrs Conrad: I have just done a headcount, there are 27 of us.  

Chelsea: What's 27 ? 

Sanjay: Don't even bother Chelsea. 

Rose: Oh wow, the amount of stories that are ready to go in my school newspaper… oh I can't wait!

Sarah: Neither can we *Note the sarcasm* 

Dev: Mohammed and Ahmed are dead, and Lily is caught, we are in a perilous position.

Mrs Conrad: Well thanks for pointing out the obvious you pathetic prat, now move that piece of rubble so we can proceed. 

(He does) 

Mr Redwood: Hang-on-this-is-not-the-fire-escape-to-the-car-park.

 Rhys: The entrance to Mr. Masterbate's classroom.

Gordon: I'M SCARED! 

(Stunned silence everyone turns to Gordon)  

Gordon: I mean you know because Mr. Masterbate like a perv and all.

 Aaron: He probably died though fam.

George: I don't think were that lucky.

Lucy: Why not just go around? This school is practically rubble anyway. 

George: Because in case you haven't noticed there are Black Crestor's prowling around so we can't just run out into the open. 

Lucy: Oh I'm sorry for disobeying the almighty George.

George: Oh I'm sorry for disobeying the almighty Bimbo Lucy.

Mrs Conrad: You'll both be sorry for disobeying the almighty me in a minute if you start arguing again, you're becoming worse than Jack and Florence (as Florence opens her mouth) No Florence. Stage an argument with Jack now and you will die you pathetic girl. 

Florence: Damn.

Thomas: Let's just go, and get this over with. 

(They enter the classroom; Mr Masterbate seems to have been waiting for them) 

Mr Masterbate: So you are here at last. 

Cairon: Sir have you been watching us!?

Mr Masterbate: Err… no don't be ridiculous.  (Covers up peepy hole he was peering out with his hand)  

Chantelle: How did you know we was coming then sir?

Mr Masterbate: I… err… heard you.

Caroline: I bet he did, filthy animal.

Mr Masterbate: Anyway now that you are here, we can all hide in my closet until the danger passes.

(Of course Silence follows this)

George: Oh yes we'd all love to come skip into your closet Mr Masterbate *Note the sarcasm* 

Chelsea: Alright then guys let’s go! 

Thomas: Not literally!  Lucy: She doesn't understand sarcasm Thomas! Like the one time… 

Mr Masterbate:  So you don't want to hop into my closet?

Mrs Conrad: I think the answer is overwhelmingly obvious. 

Mr Masterbate: Fine then, it's your funeral 

(He goes into his closet) 

Rose: God what a weirdo, he tried to make advances on me the once but me kicked him in the balls, I was so proud of me, I think me is a right gutsy gal… 

Lucy: (whispering loudly): I think Rose has gone insane she's talking to herself.

Thomas: There is no Lily to bitch too.

Mrs Conrad: Yes well we can assess all of our mental status after we find a way out of here and not standing in a vulnerable position, in a suspected paedophiles classroom!

Miss Noel: Now, now, staff don't get paid to insult fellow staff members.

Mrs Conrad: Are any of us benefiting money right now? 

Miss Noel: I guess not.

Mrs Conrad: Well then I am entitled to say what I want… in fact I'm always allowed, I just enjoy the fact you think you have control over me. 

Miss Noel: Well… I guess that was right… 

Mr Redwood: And- I-guess-Mrs-is-right-about- Mr-Masterbate-I-mean-the-guy-tried-to-touch-my-crotch-the-once… 

Chantelle: Like Miss Noel does on a daily basis.

Miss Noel: (beet red) MISS DELORIS HOW DARE YOU! 

Chantelle: Sorry, just sounds like all the shit goes down in the staff room.

Jack: Someone please tell me there's a way out of this room.

George: Yeah the way we came in.

Lucy (snappish) Oh, ha, ha, very funny...

Sanjay: Guys look up here there's an air vent we can crawl into.   

Voice: Not on my watch.

(Rose screams as the Black Crest boy silts her neck, as several enter the classroom… Rose hits the ground twitching before she dies the remaining White View students are approached by Black Crests) 

George: WHERE'S GREG!?

Black Crest Star Pupil: Can't say… 

George: TELL ME YOU COLD BLOODED MURDERER! 

Mrs Conrad: He obviously is not going to tell you, you complete and utter baboon. 

Black Crest Star Pupil: (To George) You look like the curious type... well curiosity always did kill the cat, and you like the type of person that would go splat.

Caroline: Get ready to fight these savages. 

Gordon: I DON’T WANNA FIGHT!

(Has a nervous breakdown) 

Caroline: Oh for pete's sake get a hold of yourself!

Black Crest Star Pupil: Right guys kill a few and then grab the rest, CHARGE! 

(The fight begins, Dev and Francesco are dead in seconds, everyone else manages to fight, even Gordon somehow).

Thomas: QUICK! WE NEED TO GET INTO THE VENT!  

Mrs Conrad: WHOSE STILL ALIVE!?

Chelsea: (Despite being stabbed repeatedly) It's okay everyone, I'm still here! 

Sanajay: TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW!

(Sanjeet is then killed, as are Cairon when he tries to square up to some big black dude, and Charlie, the cause of death is being  sat on by a fat red head Black Crest Girl, the group runs, but in John and Chaniqua are caught everyone else manages to squeeze into the air vent and crawl quickly to safety for now…) 

Mrs Conrad: (Panting): Okay who did we lose? 

Rhys: Dev, Francesco, Sanjeet, Cairon, Charlie and Rose are dead and Chaniqua and John have been caught, all thanks to Thomas here. 

Thomas: ME? WHAT DID I DO!?

Rhys: You ran, we could have stayed and fought and saved them. 

Thomas: Funny, I didn't notice you fighting that well, and you practically dived for the vent. 

Rhys: You… 

Sarah: Rhys not now, people have just died. 

Rhys: Fine then, but you watch your back Thomas or… 

Aaron: I'll stab you from behind, and I'll do worse to you Rhys...

Caroline: Silence is gold… what… CHANTELLE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Chantelle: OH FUCK YEAH! 

Ryan: HARDER! 

Caroline: EWW! WHY ARE YOU FUCKING NOW? 

Ryan: God me and Chantelle are just have a quickie.

Caroline: I know that, but you're blocking my way forward and plus EWW! THE CUM IS COMING THIS WAY! 

Florence: Chill out Caroline 

Caroline: CHILL OUT IT’S 99 PER CENT BACTERIA! And thank you for noticing my name change, I always thought Carol was tacky...

Jack: Only cause to stay "different" you constantly change your name.

Caroline: SHUT IT DRAMA KING! AND AS FOR YOU TWO SEX MACHINES, IN FRONT OF ME! I'LL CATCH HIV IF YOU CARRY ON!

Florence: Oh stop overreacting 

(Dramatic pause in events)

Sanjay: Err; Florence does the word Hypocrite ring a bell with you? 

Florence: Don't be silly, I will never overact never have, never will… 

Jack: There's a spider ahead. 

Florence: OH THY HEART BURSTS IN FEAR, AS THE PURE MONSTROSITY THAT STALKS OUR EARTH APPROACHES, OH MY HEART IS BROKEN IN TERROR, THE BEAST TIS WAS HUGE IS STILL IS, I FEEL FAINT, MY WORLD IS SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL, HAS HORROR KILLED THY? YES TIS HAS COME TO THIS, MY HEART NO LONGER PUMPS I AM DEAD IN FEAR, ADIEU WORLD, ADIEU WORLD FOR I CAN NO LONGER LIVE, AND SO IN UTTERMOST TERROR, I DIE, I AM DEAD! 

(She faints, Jack picks her up and Mrs Conrad crushes the one centimetre long spider with her hand) 

Dean: Move- Forwards- Chelsea.

Elliot: Crawl Chelsea.

Chelsea: God I don't know! Why do have to put pressure on me?!

Elliot: Because you're blocking our way! 

Chelsea: Alright God, breathe, blink, breathe, hand forwards, move leg, back, no forward, yes move forwards, yes success, oh don't forget to breathe, blink again, breathe put hand forward move leg, breathe again… 

Dean: How did we end up behind Chelsea and not next to Lucy? 

Elliot: Oh God, I hope she's not next too… 

(up ahead) 

George: So mad group with have, hey Lucy?

(He notices she is crying) 

George: Err… Lucy...

Lucy: What, oh yeah I'm sorry.

George: What's up it's not me is it?

Lucy: No, it’s just… well 6 of us have died and… well I feel weak and pathetic because right now I'm the only one grieving.  

George: Hey come on (SHOUTS) WE WILL REMEMBER THE FALLEN ROSE, SANJEET, DEV, CAIRON, CHARLIE AND FRANCESCO!

Charmaine: Who the fuck you on about? 

George: Well... Charlie your friend for 5 years.

Chantelle: Charlie, err oh yeah… err… I forgot her last name.

George: Jesus Christ did you even know her at all?

Chantelle: Well Nah. 

George: And Chanquia's life is in peril thinking about that at all?

Chantelle: What sorry George say that again, I was thinking my massive blue dildo I left at home.

George: Oh I give up… Hey Aaron, don't you feel sad Cairon's gone and John is in danger. 

Aaron: Nah man pussies cry.

George: I don't believe this; please tell me Thomas you of all people cared about your nerd group.

Thomas: Of course.

Rhys: Really did you? If you did tell me one interesting fact about Francesco and Dev.

Thomas: Err… Francesco was European, and Dev was Asian. 

*George Faceplam*

Rhys: See he doesn't care about us, he's no leader!  

Thomas: Oh I suppose you are then!?

Rhys: Yeah, I'd make a great leader!

Thomas: Yeah a leader that wears nappies, that says a lot about how fearless you are. 

Charmaine: Oh you got owned Rhys!  

Rhys: Shut the fuck up! I know everyone here unlike Thomas… 

Sarah: What's my favourite colour then? 

Rhys: Ermm… Ginger 

*Sarah Faceplam*

George: Oh My God we barely know each other at all. 

Lucy: 5 years of knowing them, I should have done something. 

George: You'd have only died too, and besides Lucy I'm sorry about earlier... you're right I am a stupid, cold-hearted person… 

Lucy: Hey come on don't feel sorry for yourself, I'm sorry too, you're right I can be a bimbo at times. 

George: But see Lucy this is why you're so… 

Lucy: I'm so what?

George: Special, because you care. 

Lucy: George that's the nicest thing… 

(Dean makes a very loud coughing noise at this point, everyone turns to him concerned he finishes) 

Dean: Must have swallowed something.

Miss Noel: Like what?

Dean: A fly

Lucy: Dean you know I love insects and animals, that cruelty to them.

Dean: Well it couldn't be stopped

Aaron: It would if ya gob was shut.

 Mrs Conrad: Hurry up you foolish set of souls have save your cheesy romantic talks and pathetic teenage dramas for later, when were safe not squashed up in some vent crawling to stay alive. 

The End

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