An explosive argumentMature

Act 3

Miss Lofty: ...and this is Mr Fluffy Whiskers, and here's Lammy, and here's Mr Valley Tops, and here is Sir Wool at lot, and here is… 

(The class is wild; Helpless TA is desperately trying to teach Chelsea how to breathe, Chantelle and Ryan are having sex as usual in Da Corner, Lucy is chatting on and on to Dean and Elliot, the nerds have taken shelter under the tables, Greg has started to grow annoyed to George's survival only attitude, so he wonders over to Lucy) 

Greg: Hey Lucy.

Lucy… And my step-dad... (pauses and turns to Greg) oh hey Greg what's up?

Greg: I was just wondering, if you'd like to hang on during the weekend?

Dean: NO SHE'S BUSY! 

Elliot: YEAH! 

Lucy: No I'm not. 

Dean: Err…

Elliot: Jesus Dean, making a prat of yourself as always...

Lucy: Let me guess you two want to tag along?

Dean and Elliot: YEAH! 

Lucy: I thought so you two seem to follow me everywhere. 

(Greg looks at Dean and Elliot) 

Greg: You know why they follow you around right?

Dean and Elliot (mouthing): No! Don’t tell her! 

Lucy: There good mates that's all.

Greg: Really? 

Lucy: Yeah, still I look forward getting to know you better Greg. anyhow what do you mean by, Really? Are you saying Dean and Elliot aren't my friends?

Greg: They…  

Chelsea: …CAN'T BREATHE!    

Helpless TA: HANG ON I'M COMING! 

Greg: Not that they… 

Chantelle: OH FUCK YES, IT'S BLEEDING! 

Thomas: (dryly) As always.

Lucy: God this class is loud, anyhow Greg I thought you'd want to go with George somewhere. I mean I know it's only been 5 days but...

Greg: George doesn't seem interested in me.

Aaron: HA! EVERYONE LISTEN TO THIS, GREG’S BEING REJECTED BY GEORGE! 

(Greg turns red) 

Lucy: Oh I see, you had a break up.

(Dean and Elliot snigger) 

Greg: NO, IT’S JUST… 

George: (approaching them) What's going on, Greg didn't I tell you not to talk so loud. 

Greg: Right of course I'll follow your instructions *Note the sarcasm* 

(George walks off) 

Greg: His helped me survive, and told me how to use this new Samsung phone Daz "got" for me and get a Facebook account, and also how to walk in disguise, but I don't seem to be knowing him like a friend, more like an instructor. 

Lucy: Greg, George is just a little quiet and sensitive, like John Smith was, I'm sure he'll open up to you. 

Greg: (Thinking): Yeah he'll really listen to me, ignoring me, treating me like I'm dumb or something, well it's time for revenge, a nice shock which will make him listen to me. 

Greg (before Dean and Elliot can stop him): You know George really likes you. 

(Dean and Elliot go pale, Lucy goes quiet) 

Lucy: What…?

Greg: Oh he likes you a lot; he was talking all about you yesterday. 

(Pause) 

Rose: I can smell gossip.

Lily: I got raped!

Rose: No, secret gossip, like, like… (She listens in on Lucy and Greg)   

Lucy: Are you pulling my leg? 

Dean: Obviously. 

Elliot: Yeah I mean George fancying Lucy, he would have owned up ages ago, I mean who follows there crush around for years without telling them, jeez.

Chelsea (very loudly): DOES THE WORD HYPOCRITE RING A BELL WITH YOU! 

(Silence)  

Dean: She doesn't mean that… 

Elliot: Yeah this is Chelsea were talking about...

Thomas: What’s going on here? 

(The nerds assemble behind him) 

Lucy: Thomas mad things are happening.

Greg: Chelsea's managed to pick up on sumthin' interesting… 

Rose: I should write a newspaper, a school newspaper; this gossip would sell out faster than time magazine. 

Lily: Would there be my rape in it? 

Rose: Oh yes, now shut up listen. 

(Meanwhile…)

Sanjeet: HELP ME THOMAS! CARION HAS ME! 

Thomas: Err, help, err, do something, gang! 

Rhys: DON'T LOOK AT US YOU'RE THE LEADER! 

Cairon: HA, HA! I GOT THE NERD! (He runs off with Sanjeet) 

Sarah: Thomas you're our leader, you should have done something. 

Thomas: Like what?

Rhys: GROW SO BALLS YOU WANKER! 

Thomas: THAT'S A BIT RICH FROM SOMEONE WHO WEARS A NAPPY!  

Rhys: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?! YOU ARE THE WORST NERD LEADER I'VE EVER SEEN, YOU JUST RUN TO THE BUNKER WHENEVER YOU SEE A CHAV, WELL DONE THOMAS! YOU REALLY TEACH US SOMETHING,RUN AWAY FROM THE ENEMY! 

Thomas: IT'S EASY FOR YOU! TO SPIT OUT CRITICISM STANDING THERE AND…!! 

Chantelle: What the fuck is that noise?

Charmaine: I think the non- chav's are having an orgy.

Charlie: Da Fuck, without us?

Chaniqua: How rude.

Aaron: No there not, there… 

Gordon: Arguing… 

Cairon (Dropping Sanjeet): What could they be arguing about? 

John: I think that pink car thing got to them; you know the guilt of it all, it was Fake and Gay after all.

(Jack and Florence burst into the argument) 

Jack: I have something to admit to the class! 

Florence: NO, I SHALL SAY IT, YOU ART A FATHER, I AM PREGNANT! 

(She collapses) 

Thomas: Pregnant for the fifth time today 

Rhys: GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU ATTENTION SEEKERS! PREGNANT MY ARSE! EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR BOTH STILL VIRGINS! 

Jack: and you're not? still you're being rude man.

Florence: I know right. 

Rhys: JUST FUCK OFF! 

Jack: OH MY GOD DUDE, WHY DID YOU THREATEN ME? I WILL GET MY LAWYERS ON YOU I SAW MY WHOLE LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES RIGHT THERE…!

Asif: Asif you have any lawyers… 

Jack: I'm recounting all this hostility at the trail… 

Francesco: Oh for God's sake… 

Lucy: WHOA CAN WE GET BACK TO MAIN POINT!?

Florence: WHY TIS YOUR POINT THAT DIVERTS THE ATTENTION!? WHAT OF ME! WHAT OF MY LIFE! 

Mohammed: NO ONE CARES! 

George: What's this what’s going on…?

Rose: Allow me to… 

(The class starts to argue) 

Rose: I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF… 

Lucy: SORRY ROSE, WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU…!

Rhys: ...THOMAS GO BACK TO YOUR BUNKER AND NEVER COME OUT!

Thomas: You're pathetic Rhys! 

Rhys: YOU ARE! 

Asif: SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!

Ahmed: Asif that will happen.

Sarah: Everyone can we try and get along!?

Dean: ...LUCY! IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK! 

Florence: EVERYONE LOOK AT ME… THY ART… 

Jaya: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!  

(Class goes quiet) 

Jaya: Guys, we all have problems and there never going to get solved without us helping each other, for example I need to say more in class, and I need other people there for that to happen, don’t you guys see? We worked as a team back on that pink bus, and mere days later were falling apart. 

(Cricket chirping silence) 

Jaya: That's all I have to say think about it.

(Just then Miss Noel enters) 

Miss Noel: Wow, I never seen a class so quiet.

Miss Lofty: (Oblivious to the situation) It's my sheep miss, there intrigued.

Miss Noel: Yeah... (changing topic) Greg can you come to head's office please? He wants to see you.  

Greg: Alright I'm going (Leaves classroom) 

(Class returns to normal) 

George: You know Jaya's right.

Lucy: She is George; I want to ask you something.

George: And that… (Just then Dean "accidently" falls on George) 

Dean: Oh sorry mate 

(Elsewhere) 

Greg: Mr Redwood you wanted to see me. 

(His office is empty) 

Greg: Must be early, I'll just wait here and… 

(He gets no further, someone behind him hits him with a crowbar and he collapses onto the floor bleeding from the back of his head) 

(Back in class) 

Miss Lofty: What's that vibrating? 

Chantelle: My Dildo!  

Miss Lofty: Not that, why are the walls vibrating? 

Chaniqua: I got a bigger dildo! 

Miss Lofty: Not that something is wrong… 

George (Shoving Dean off him) : You wanted to say Lucy? 

Lucy: I wanted to know whether it was true about… (The room shakes) 

Rhys: There are a gang of people outside. 

Aaron: Shit, Black Crest's. 

Thomas: What are they doing here? 

Lucy: Why are there so many of them? 

Cairon: Are they holding grenades? 

Aaron: Shit there holding knives too… 

Gordon: (Suddenly) I WANT MY MUM!

(Silence) 

Gordon: I mean yeah because she and I could whup there asses.

Miss Lofty: NEVER MIND THAT THERE ATTACKING THE SCHOOL! EVERYONE GET DOWN…!

(Too late a grenade gets thrown through the window and explodes, derbies’ fly everywhere and the school begins to collapse as the Black Crest students throw grenades into the building when the majority of White View has collapsed into rubble, the Black Crestor’s cheer in celebration) 

Black Crest Pupil: Headmaster sir, it's down. 

Headmaster: Good, now bring me the survivors and lock them up, we want this public execution to make an impression on the non-chavs… 

Black Crest Pupil: Sir Do we need “him”?

Headmaster: Him we save for the end, along with the others, I know where they are…   

The End

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